06 July 2016

thinking about thinking

In situations when I'm forced to be idle-- such as having to stay at home or getting stuck in a no-WiFi zone or when there's a blackout--my flatulent brain would ruminate and pass gaseous outrageous thoughts that I try to keep at bay by blinking innumerable times until my eyelids feel the burn of fatigue. I occasionally like those moments especially when the aforementioned brain farts are related to what needs to be done. Otherwise, I wish my consciousness would let me think passively of white wall-less halls of deafening silence. You know, when it's so silent you actually hear an *eeeiiingggg* sound...


25 April 2016

Cranial Nerve 1 - Olfactory


My neighbor is clearly baking something and it smells glorious. And now I have to blog about it.
Scents can affect us in various ways which is probably why the perfume/ cologne industry is still booming.  Even laundry detergent and fabric softener are big on scents these days. 

Well, my favorite smell would be...bread. I'll give 20 bucks to anyone who can tell me if there's bread-scented cologne--as in plain bread. Not cinnamon rolls or pumpkin pie (which, I'm pretty sure have been incorporated in body lotion or candles). 

Ah, the smell of a local bakery in the morning. It's comforting.


23 April 2016

Much ado about

...a lot of things.  After rationalizing and allocating a reasonable amount of thinking time, an imaginary hose splashed cold water on my consciousness--not everyone subscribes to the Golden rule. Fun fact.


10 March 2016

on a roll


A couple of years ago I began writing a novel and at this rate, I will never be able to complete it. It made me cringe---it didn't seem to have a plot...it was juvenile and had the makings of what would be a Sweet Valley High reprise. You never know, James Rollins was a veterinarian before he became this incredible sci-fi novelist.

Earlier this morning whilst at a meeting, the topic of waking up in the middle of the night with an active mind was brought up. I used to be creative in those moments---but lately I've been comatosed intermittently. 

Ah yes Shakespeare, to sleep...to sleep perchance to a dream. Aye, there's the rub for in that sleep of death what dreams may come.


Uncontrollable stereotypes

I used to teach and have been as objective as I could in terms of evaluation--which is easy especially since when assessing knowledge of anatomy--a femur is a femur and there's no other interpretation of that. Wrong spelling wrong. A femur is not the same as the humerus. The ilium is not the same as the ileum. I have had colleagues ask essay questions either as bonus items or for the sake of having some subjective control especially if they particularly don't like a student. Let's face it, teachers are humans...hominids...humanoids...from Kingdom Animalia. Anyway, I suppose having whatever is part of my identity making it difficult for me to break all the preconceived notions about my kind. XX chromosome, parental unit, natural sciences, alien Third-worlder...I thought I had no self-esteem left after going through a few peer-reviews, but wow. What I feel now is like the equivalent of that nothingness in between electron orbitals. Then again, I may be a boson. That's not too bad. I exist--that's a good thing, right?


08 March 2016

flashback, keep the horse blinders off

[Feel free to aim your super soaker on me via your monitor---it's your computer.]

I was in graduate class today and my prof mentioned John Godfrey Saxe's "The Blind Men and the Elephant" which I mentioned in 2007 when I was ranting about how people with specializations tend to snub other fields of specialization.  Someone once told me that when he was doing his thesis about this specific method for data analysis, it was as if he had a hammer and everything was a nail.  I get that.  Each time I was studying a disease, I thought everyone had it---I had it, whether encephalopathy, worms, flesh-eating bacteria, delusory parasitosis, etc.

Let this post be a reminder that we need to zoom out and get out of whatever specialized ivory tower we live in and contaminate ourselves with other equally interesting (or more interesting) fields of knowledge.

Labels: ,

03 January 2016

I am the master of my fate

"Haven't had a dream in a long time
see, the life I've had
can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time."

The Smiths best describes current circumstances. My "function now, feel later" approach occasionally works, but my subsconscious eventually succeeds as the victorious antagonist resulting to silent weeping sessions in the shower. What an interesting situation to be in, especially since there are more smile-worthy things to focus on compared to the cry-worthy things that external forces prefer to magnify. I remember previous posts ago when I thought that I've developed a calloused shell of nonchalance only to be deliberately poked with a "trident" of provocation. And the ultimate question is "why?"


11 October 2015

Time is Elusive

Image Source
I'm glad I was able to connect with a former school mate who wanted to unburden herself of classic books.  After a few emails, we've agreed to meet sometime in the next two weeks so I could get some of her titles by Hemingway, Kipling, and Faulkner.  I've been envious of fellow commuters who've been reading on the train and I miss having the opportunity to actually read something that's not related to grad school or work.  I considered borrowing titles from libraries, but I end up borrowing books that I need...as in course-related. Although I may come off as some uptight connoisseur of fine literature--I'm not. I've read contemporary fiction from James Rollins to the guilty pleasure-motivated romance novels. If given the time and resources, I'd look for a copy of Kierkegaard's Works of Love just to feed my inner life.


03 August 2015

never idle

This interim between careers has left me feeling uneasy, because I live for striking items on a to-do list. It was appropriate that for the past two days I've received daily messages (I subscribe to this e-newsletter) about how rest doesn't mean being idle, but rather, doing something else. I should consider myself lucky, because I've been in innumerable situations when I hoped my task list would accomplish itself...moments when family duties, work, etc. were overwhelming. I resolve not to do anything forcibly profound...pretend house with kids or maybe a lot of cartoons.


01 August 2015

Emotionally Curioser

From The New York Times:
What Emotions Are (and Aren’t)
"Most people believe that emotions are distinct, locatable entities inside us — but they’re not. No brain region is dedicated to any single emotion."



I read through this article about what constitutes human emotions...whether emotions were assigned specific neurons in the brain or whatnot. All I've ever known is that the seat of emotions was somewhere in the forebrain, but as to how the concerted physiological responses attributable to a specific human emotion operates remains unclear  to me. I was sort of disappointed with the article...there was no nodding or "aahh I see" moment after I read it. Good luck neuroscience, you've your work cut out for you.