26 April 2015

Paroxysms of catastrophic emotions

The Disintegration of the Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali
(image from wikipedia, click on image for source)

I mourn the travesty going on in Nepal as of the moment. 
I mourn the decreasing amount of hope I have for my aspirations.
The normality that remains is that tip of the iceberg that is the monotonous daily routine of waking up, doing what needs to be done, and going to bed. 
I am spent.
I am so spent.

31 March 2015

Endorphin dependence

Protected time for physical activity that's been happening as of late: long overdue. Exercise requires a lot of mental work (thinking about the movement and actually performing the movement involves major processing). My neurons are constantly fired up, which explains this 12:30AM post/ode to working out. Hormones.

19 October 2014

fractal antenna

Magnetite deposited in the brain has been linked to telepathy. I still have an echo of that high I felt after reading James Rollins' Altar of Eden, because my assumptions about synchronized thinking or nonverbal communication have been validated. At the end of Altar of Eden, James Rollins enumerated ideas in the book which are based on real science; especially about magnetite deposits as fractal antennae. 

So that whole gut feel about another individual (whether fascination or aversion during one-on-one encounters) can be partly explained by some form of magnetic occurrence. BUT, I prefer to rationalize---stuff. I'm not amused by expert fractal antenna users or manipulators (or what this new generation sometimes call 'players').

11 October 2014

Holidays and Melancholic People

Image from this 2012 Huffpost article

This blog is testament to my permanent yuletide fixation. I suppose a huge proportion of people share the same sentiment about the holidays, but I've recently encountered two people who dread Christmas because it reminds them of some tragedy...it must be such a heavy burden to bear each year to force yourself into going through the holidays with a sardonic grin. 


19 September 2014

How philosophical

Image from Amazon

I began reading Robert Rowland Smith's Breakfast with Socrates a few weeks ago. I haven't finished the book because I was distracted by James Rollins' Altar of Eden (an excellent, action-packed book)...Anyway, so far, Breakfast with Socrates is a pun-filled text about how each mundane act we go through every day is philosophical. How waking up is an awesome phenomenon because it's clearly the transition between subconsciousness and consciousness or how getting ready in the morning is the same as not getting ready.

I'd like to discuss the getting ready is the same as not getting ready bit, because I could grasp it.
The point of getting ready for work in the morning is to experience work-related events, but at the same time exerting some effort not to experience other events such as getting soaked in rain or starving or some other unpleasant possibility. True true.
Such an apt book title, because wasn't it Socrates who once said that the unexamined life is not worth living? Wasn't he sentenced to death by hemlock for being...philosophical, I mean, asking too many questions and influencing young people to be equally inquisitive? If my recollection of history is incorrect--my apologies.

I'm going through the book slowly as if savoring a slice of cake or a spoonful of strawberry ice cream.


11 July 2014


Much of our anxiety and day-to-day emotional burdens are self-inflicted. Making a habit of rationalizing situations can help in terms of having a better general outlook. I recently stumbled on this non-profit group called CFAR (Center for Applied Rationality) through YouTube videos posted by Julia Galef about techniques in applying rationality to our daily lives.

I'm well aware that rationality or rational thinking tends to be associated with atheism or any school of thought that negates a concept that lacks empirical evidence. But, what I learned is that rationality isn't dissonant with spirituality, in fact, it morally compels a person to go beyond logical fallacies or cognitive biases to explain why he/ she subscribes to a particular system of belief.  It prevents complacency.

What I like about rationality is that it allows the mastery of one's self--of one's emotions.  It prevents clouded thinking and irreversible, damaging behavior when in the middle of a confrontation.  I especially find it useful, as suggested by Julia Galef, to imagine that your personal opinion is a physical construct that you put in a box and place beside you while your "opponent" literally "attacks" that box with his/ her points of argument.  It removes the notion that the attack is on you; "Argumentation as collaboration rather than combat." Whereby after the argument, you get to take home your opponent's weapons.

Apart from argumentation, the practice of rational thinking helped me to sleep better. I don't over-analyze other people's behavior and I've become less anxious about how other people treat me.  That's the thing about all of us; we're all so occupied with ourselves. We think that everything that offends us is a deliberate provocation, whereas it's also purely possible that people aren't even thinking about us at all.

Rationality, a change in perspective. Hear, hear.

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30 March 2014

The pathology of agony

I was once described as precocious, now family members consider me as having the tendency to brood--to be consumed by thoughts or expectations. I find that this tendency, like many human tendencies, poses both positive and negative effects: focus and productivity at work or at home; fixation and gloom when faced with uncertainty. I've heard innumerable words of encouragement, tips on how to achieve a better outlook, or counting blessings--I might as well be considered the expert on positive living, but we all know that theory isn't always practiced. It's ironic that people come to me for advice or catharsis yet here I am feeling completely inadequate.

Can all this be reduced to something clinical? I hope not. I'm pretty sure I'm just over-analyzing things.
(I'm my own shrink.)

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09 March 2014

Knowing one's place

Magritte's "Not to be Reproduced"

It would be impossible to live one day without spending at least a few minutes speculating idly.  Idle speculation can be unnecessarily emotionally charged and out-of-control to the point that valid feelings result. I'm quite guilty of this excessive internal drama.

So, to celebrate my ongoing struggle to be less hung up about useless anxiety...(or avoiding anxiety altogether)...I've posted Magritte's "Not to be Reproduced" so I can nag my subconscious to do the "about face."  Look at my art-inspired post last 30 September 2007 and see what I'm talking about.


14 February 2014

Rubbing it in

The fact remains. 
I'm a WAD Homo sapiens.
Wallpaper not even a flower.
Best regards,
Yours truly.


05 September 2013

to boldly go...

An astronaut aboard the International Space Station stated (non verbatim) that the Earth, when viewed from outer space, is a beautiful world devoid of the usual arbitrary boundaries we see on maps. That in spite of the present international conflicts or even the struggles of daily life, we still live in this beautiful planet. 

Another astronaut also mentioned that the next frontier of the NASA space program would be a manned flight to Mars. He hopes that it would involve an interracial crew working together rather than different space programs competing   against each other.

The current conflicts of this world sadden me. It's as if the only thing that would unite mankind would be an alien invasion or a cataclysmic event akin to the film 2012.

I've posted this before and it bears repeating, we need to zoom out and realize how minute and ephemeral we are. Humility is rare.

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