a good parent, what is?
Excuse the yoda-like title.
What does it mean to be a good parent? Are there set criteria? Is there an underground international parenting organization that keeps the rules of good parenting a secret so that only their children will survive gloriously in this ever changing world? Okay that's far-fetched.
A friend of mine recently gave birth and I didn't know what to tell her. It would seem like she was expecting some profound or maybe practical motherly advice from me, but all I could say was congratulations...it will be weird at first but eventually you'll get the hang of it...or something to that effect. My husband joked one time that it would have been nice if babies were born with instructional manuals. Like all other members of the animal kingdom, caring for our offspring is based on instinct.
The question is, how can you say if a parent is a good parent or a bad parent? If one is omnipresent in their children's lives, does that make him/her a good parent? Or is it being completely physically absent because one has to work somewhere far in order to provide for the needs of the children? Or somewhere in between? Are happily married parents better than single parents or separated/divorced parents? Are those who practice corporal punishment more effective than those who sit-down and talk to their kids....even though the kid is 1-yr. old?
And then I realized, the term good parent is probably abstract. It's akin to love, beauty, truth, courage...we cannot have an absolute definition of it. If you're a theological fanatic, you may think that in order to be perfect parents the father should be a carpenter and the mother a 14-year old virgin. If you're a materialist, then perfect parents should be able to provide for all the needs and wants of the children. All parents have an opinion. One parenting style is not effective universally.
Being a parent, I realized that one thing parents are awfully conscious-to-the-point-of-vanity about is whether they're good parents or not...second to that (in my humble opinion) is how successful their children are (whether in education or wealth). All of which are products of our pride. And then when another family's children seem to be better off than ours, we start looking for imperfections about them....at least we're not this or that or blah blah blah. Envy. And we know that pride and envy are deadly sins.
Of course, as parents, we want to know whether we are good or bad. I think it's simple. Ask the children. If they say yes (or act like they're saying yes...for children who can't talk yet), that's all that really matters don't you think?
What does it mean to be a good parent? Are there set criteria? Is there an underground international parenting organization that keeps the rules of good parenting a secret so that only their children will survive gloriously in this ever changing world? Okay that's far-fetched.
A friend of mine recently gave birth and I didn't know what to tell her. It would seem like she was expecting some profound or maybe practical motherly advice from me, but all I could say was congratulations...it will be weird at first but eventually you'll get the hang of it...or something to that effect. My husband joked one time that it would have been nice if babies were born with instructional manuals. Like all other members of the animal kingdom, caring for our offspring is based on instinct.
The question is, how can you say if a parent is a good parent or a bad parent? If one is omnipresent in their children's lives, does that make him/her a good parent? Or is it being completely physically absent because one has to work somewhere far in order to provide for the needs of the children? Or somewhere in between? Are happily married parents better than single parents or separated/divorced parents? Are those who practice corporal punishment more effective than those who sit-down and talk to their kids....even though the kid is 1-yr. old?
And then I realized, the term good parent is probably abstract. It's akin to love, beauty, truth, courage...we cannot have an absolute definition of it. If you're a theological fanatic, you may think that in order to be perfect parents the father should be a carpenter and the mother a 14-year old virgin. If you're a materialist, then perfect parents should be able to provide for all the needs and wants of the children. All parents have an opinion. One parenting style is not effective universally.
Being a parent, I realized that one thing parents are awfully conscious-to-the-point-of-vanity about is whether they're good parents or not...second to that (in my humble opinion) is how successful their children are (whether in education or wealth). All of which are products of our pride. And then when another family's children seem to be better off than ours, we start looking for imperfections about them....at least we're not this or that or blah blah blah. Envy. And we know that pride and envy are deadly sins.
Of course, as parents, we want to know whether we are good or bad. I think it's simple. Ask the children. If they say yes (or act like they're saying yes...for children who can't talk yet), that's all that really matters don't you think?
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