mundane morbid thoughts

Being in my mid-twenties, it would seem inappropriate to start thinking about possible causes of death. Earlier today, my colleagues and I were discussing each other's predisposition to all types of cancers, diabetes, hypertension, etc etc. Death has been a huge influence on my teenage life that it's a topic that I just can't set aside or take for granted. When my mother died of cancer (brain metastasis) when I was 17 years old, I instantly became an adult. I mean literally, I matured...I think. What normally made me squirm prior to that event suddenly wasn't a big deal anymore.

My mother was incredibly smart and witty. She came from a somewhat poor, broken family but she wasn't the 'woe is me' type. She got through university and law school through scholarships and graduated with high honors. I used to think that knowledge is something that nobody can take away from you. And then oops, uh, brain tumor. Right at that spot in-charge of cognition.

That would really be painful--to die without being self-aware. To completely forget yourself. Well, not really painful personally but painful to everyone else. It would suck.

--> How annoying is this post? I try to avoid talking about death because I don't want to end up like Heath Ledger and sound prophetic or what. Knock on wood, I beg you, knock on wood! Argh!