i should be so lucky

Despite the stiff and jaded facade, I have a tiny central core of vulnerability that needs a little bit of assistance. I brainwashed myself into believing that I'm independent and capable of things on my own to the point where I forget that I'm not invincible. Interestingly, my husband sees that and assists me. I'd always tell him that he had the loser portion of the bargain by marrying me and he'd always get irritated. But that's the truth of how I feel. Although he would like it better if I were 'sweet.' I'm not a PDA person because I do not subscribe to the notion that affection should be flamboyantly paraded about like some free public show. I only have momentary bouts of 'touchy feely' if I accidentally physically hurt someone or when I'm intoxicated. So, having someone endure my insensitivity is a curiosity to me.