odd now, top model tomorrow

...and tomorrow soon becomes now. Ann Ward, who won the 15th cycle of America's Next Model, was once upon a time an awkward bully magnet. I like her story and I feel some sort of empathic vindication. A lot of people are mean. And I realized that these self-proclaimed popular people are mean because they're actually insecure and that putting other people down based on physicality or some odd trait makes them feel better. Oh, so many people have put me down or explicitly and implicitly have made fun of me for my weird fixations but hey, I've been consistent. Consistently odd is better than wishy-washy, go-with- the-fad, noisy, forced bubbliness purposelessness. Like those cliques on teen chick flicks, if they are based on real life. Does this outlook make me prejudiced in my own way? I guess. But this form of prejudice develops as a protective defense mechanism. In short, "You should've been nice to me before, because you can't expect me to believe you're sincere now. It's just too plasticine." You get what you give. And vice versa. Quid pro quo.