I am the master of my fate

"Haven't had a dream in a long time

see, the life I've had

can make a good man bad

So for once in my life

let me get what I want

Lord knows it would be the first time."

The Smiths best describes current circumstances. My "function now, feel later" approach occasionally works, but my subsconscious eventually succeeds as the victorious antagonist resulting to silent weeping sessions in the shower. What an interesting situation to be in, especially since there are more smile-worthy things to focus on compared to the cry-worthy things that external forces prefer to magnify. I remember previous posts ago when I thought that I've developed a calloused shell of nonchalance only to be deliberately poked with a "trident" of provocation. And the ultimate question is "why?"