Snarky

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I felt uncharitable today. In fact, I wanted to throw imaginary snide darts onto an imaginary dartboard. Why, what happened? A spontaneous conversation that unleashed specific memories which I have buried deep in my mind as molecules of the recent past. It was as if Pandora's box was unlocked inside my head and all these unpleasant emotions emanated like noxious miasma. All the while struggling to maintain the most socially acceptable facial expressions and mannerisms--a la Victorian restraint.  Yes, friends, despite the apparent desire to possess every virtue--I can be capricious. As in "argh#&@*%^ *insert expletive*" levels in my head but looking like Wednesday Addams on a good day.  People who are very close to me are familiar with the unmistakable deaf-mute state I enter when I'm pissed. I try to veil, of course, just so it does not become too much of a big deal especially when there's really no point communicating that I'm pissed. But in times like these, we must go the Elsa route and "conceal don't feel, don't let them know--let it go." Let blogger absorb the cyber-soliloquy where self-preoccupation is masking as self-deprecation. Hopeless. Wretched self-examination. Ayayay.

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Note to self: disengage from negative emotions. Think happy thoughts: unicorns, narwhals, rainbows, chocolates, potato chips, refillable coffee...etc etc. Oh, brownies, pasta, cream cheese, picturesque rural places, etc etc.