Fading memories and reasons unknown

I listened to a few scientists talk about human memory and I had a temporary desire to be an experimental subject. I think I’ve lost some memories. Many of the journal entries I started on July 3, 1994 are almost fictional to me since I have to wring my brain to obtain any image in my head related to certain events that clearly happened but I couldn’t recall. I searched a previous blogpost about my inability to memorize pieces of music or have deleted memories of pieces of music that I’ve actually memorized and performed in the past. I’ve lost memories yet I have a few vivid ones that remain.

On an unrelated note, I wonder why certain things need to happen or be felt when those things or feelings don’t necessarily serve as means to some end. I know that I once posted about focusing on the journey and not the destination. So, God, the cosmos, and everything divine: Again, why?