Visceral orange alert (rambling nonsense)
[Update: this is almost pseudo-hallucination. I think knowledge of hallucinations as a manifestation of high fever or severe infection has rendered me a hypochondriac. *facepalm* Indulge me and my mental evisceration (ew). I thank you.]
[Update 2: Last night’s dream was so vivid—I saw colours. There was an event at a famous diner, announcements, a park performance. My old convent school, then pouring rain. The colour red and someone’s face. I woke up feeling that I cannot trust the characters in my dream...was that the message? Or was there something I’m supposed to know. A message? I do not know...]
Whether real or illusory, there is a feeling of...it’s odd...I am being warned of deceit—being thrown under the bus, if you will. Or something like the things I’ve said or done or emotions I’ve laid bare are being recycled and presented as another’s personal insight...or knowledge of what I feel is being communicated to others as their own genuine feelings or thoughts. I mean, there’s certainly a finite number of human feelings that are appropriate for current circumstances and I cannot pee on my emotions for territorial claim, but I’m being ‘made aware’ by the ether of sinister machinations (geez, I may seriously be under the influence of opportunistic subconscious idle speculation tendencies...what?! Paranoia?). For whatever purpose, I do not know. I should probably be flattered, huh? *chin scratching* I probably should take a cold shower. Or put an ice pack on my face.
I’m writing this out as a form of purgation. Writing diarrhea. Purge purge the brain.
Too much thinking time. Rather, it’s about time that I had thinking time. Bad overthinking time. Time. Space. The final frontier...these are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise, its mission...oops, sorry, I digress. That’s a mega tangent right there.
How I came to realize this? The energy feeling thingamajig...
Dreams, random mental pictures, a strong gut feeling. Of course, I have the usual option of ignoring these visceral messages. I am empirical, yet there is this strong force of negativity that I am detecting. I do not know why. Or maybe it’s this collective anxiety that everyone feels and what I thought of as My own personal anxious feelings are really all these energies from others...I’m like a non-specific receptor. Need to step back and weaken links. Again, avoid energy vampires.
My advice to you, dear reader, is for you to take care of your well-being and positive energy. Choose who you let into your existential perimeter (can’t think of a better English description). Choose the ideas that you allow as tenants in your valuable conscious real estate.
Amen.
Addendum: karma is a female dog
[Update 2: Last night’s dream was so vivid—I saw colours. There was an event at a famous diner, announcements, a park performance. My old convent school, then pouring rain. The colour red and someone’s face. I woke up feeling that I cannot trust the characters in my dream...was that the message? Or was there something I’m supposed to know. A message? I do not know...]
Whether real or illusory, there is a feeling of...it’s odd...I am being warned of deceit—being thrown under the bus, if you will. Or something like the things I’ve said or done or emotions I’ve laid bare are being recycled and presented as another’s personal insight...or knowledge of what I feel is being communicated to others as their own genuine feelings or thoughts. I mean, there’s certainly a finite number of human feelings that are appropriate for current circumstances and I cannot pee on my emotions for territorial claim, but I’m being ‘made aware’ by the ether of sinister machinations (geez, I may seriously be under the influence of opportunistic subconscious idle speculation tendencies...what?! Paranoia?). For whatever purpose, I do not know. I should probably be flattered, huh? *chin scratching* I probably should take a cold shower. Or put an ice pack on my face.
I’m writing this out as a form of purgation. Writing diarrhea. Purge purge the brain.
Too much thinking time. Rather, it’s about time that I had thinking time. Bad overthinking time. Time. Space. The final frontier...these are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise, its mission...oops, sorry, I digress. That’s a mega tangent right there.
How I came to realize this? The energy feeling thingamajig...
Dreams, random mental pictures, a strong gut feeling. Of course, I have the usual option of ignoring these visceral messages. I am empirical, yet there is this strong force of negativity that I am detecting. I do not know why. Or maybe it’s this collective anxiety that everyone feels and what I thought of as My own personal anxious feelings are really all these energies from others...I’m like a non-specific receptor. Need to step back and weaken links. Again, avoid energy vampires.
My advice to you, dear reader, is for you to take care of your well-being and positive energy. Choose who you let into your existential perimeter (can’t think of a better English description). Choose the ideas that you allow as tenants in your valuable conscious real estate.
Amen.
Addendum: karma is a female dog
Labels: introspection
11:40 PM
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