depths and time lost

 I felt that in recent times, my enthusiasm for meaningful rumination has decreased. I admit that vanity and nostalgia are the main drivers of this post. I don’t think that there’s been a scarcity of thought provoking moments—in fact, things are more intense today compared to decades ago. Perhaps aging has made me more tired…in general. So much so that I’ve prioritized my exposure to superficial popular culture topics or the rabbit hole of threads of information and opinions about some breaking news (i.e. gossip). To escape. Or due to that prevalent theme of FOMO (‘fear of missing out’—for the benefit of my fellow geriatric millenials). I miss my previous blogging self. I take that back—maybe I don’t miss my previous blogging self just because my past self was easily tiggered. Easily triggered by a variety of things necessitating frequent introspection or being in my head resulting in the writing of cryptic or abstract posts for the sake of catharsis. An intensity that I probably have less of today. Or maybe I’ve ventured into other forms of catharsis. That’s probably it. 

I saw a randomly recommended video of a celebrity who expressed an aversion (that’s my interpretation) towards his smart phone because of time lost. That when he was using an analog phone, he had more time to read books. It’s easy to waste time on the internet. I have a pile of books that I haven’t finished—many that I’ve started but set aside including ebooks on my kindle. I should reevaluate how I budget my leisure time. It’s not too late—isn’t it? We’ll see.