To boldly go...in moderation

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No human being is resistant to feelings of anger.  Even Jesus was infuriated when merchants filled a synagogue and made it look like a market rather than a place of worship.  This is a challenging Lenten season for me--so much to repent for internally, particularly the pride department.  It is natural for anyone immersed in both a domestic and career milieu to impose (on oneself) the duty to contribute and fulfill obligations related to building a secure home life especially when it also involves rearing children. It is also equally commonplace for unexpected obstacles to arise as ball and chain impediments that serve as wake up calls that we are disturbing the empiricist-idealist balance within us. On top of that is our human nature of using others as the scapegoats of our anger, when in fact we are angry with ourselves.

I have been having brief conversations with family about life. We are at different levels on the wheel of fate but my youngest sister and I are in the same vicinity. My father told my sister that the first thing that she needs to do is to forgive herself. I should do the same. My husband assured me that we are still alright--that I shouldn't burden myself with the feeling that all the unplanned predicaments that make our logistical situation less than ideal is my fault.  I once posted that we are all (to some degree) self-centered. We feel that provocations ranging from pinpricks to full-blown life changing challenges are deliberate when the truth is, everyone else is thinking about themselves. Thinking that everyone else is out to get them. We wallow in our own anxieties and play the blame game roll call that ends with ourselves.

Moral lesson: forgiveness--towards others, but more importantly, ourselves.