Practising Repose

 

Image from Pixabay

I would have to agree with a scientist who posted earlier today that there is a tendency to examine whether one's expectations are unreasonable and that perhaps, one should have lower expectations in order to attenuate feelings of disappointment towards others.  Furthermore, a resolution that "we should all be better" warrants a virtual standing ovation.  We teach people how to treat us. The simple and universal norm of respect--not only in terms of hellos, thanks yous, pleases--including valuing other people's time, providing timely responses to questions, sincerity, truthfulness, being upfront yet courteous are marks of admirable character.

There is a temptation to go the "an eye for an eye" route.  I caught myself stooping down to this level in my personal situation and I am happy for "early detection and prompt treatment."  We have heard the "forgive seventy seven times" statement and "an attitude of gratitude." I learned that hoping for change in others or waiting for their self-accountability is a futile focus.  Rather, we should wear our "horse blinders against negativity" and pay more attention to the positives in our lives...and surround ourselves with other individuals who share the same ethics.  

The motivational speaker Jim Rohn is famous for stating that "we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with." If we are not aware enough, we imbibe the personalities and preferences of those we expose ourselves to daily. Of course, family would probably fill up the magic number 5, however, we spend a substantial amount of time doing our "vocation."  This does not mean that we should be aloof, rude, and constantly judgmental. It is simply being wise with our interactions.  Would we want to spend time with someone who complains a lot? Who does not follow through? Who is narcissistic? Who speaks badly about others? 

Unfortunately, I still have a proportion of naivete in me.  On the topic of being caught unawares in my interactions, here's a little story: I ordered my usual coffee at this cafe (I don't frequent). I was the only one in queue. From the register, I proceeded to where the drinks are supposed to be picked up. The barista was passionately talking about her favorite tea and how she was devastated that it was discontinued. She was clearly distraught and I suggested that she should try to combine tea varieties to replicate it or choose a similar alternative. Then I realized that she was putting whipped cream on my coffee. I ordered an americano misto. I got what seemed to taste like a vanilla or coconutmilk latte with whipped cream. She might have not known what the drink was or maybe the label on the cup was illegible. The simplistic solution was to ask: either the coworker at the register to clarify what the drink was or me and what I ordered. But man, was she a fantastic actress. I let it go and said "thank you." For her pride. Luckily I ordered a short. Dear universe, it was unpleasant. 

Today's moral lessons: Disappointment is directly proportional to attachment to expectations. Focus on the positive. Be more compassionate.