On Sunflowers

I only recently learned that Ukraine’s national flower is the 🌻. I had been associating the flower with my own personal happiness, and in one of my previous posts, I have also learned that Van Gogh considered it as a symbol of gratitude. When I was in high school, sunflower hair clips and Elizabeth Arden’s Sunflowers perfume were fads. Sunflowers grow in my home country too. Perhaps, given the circumstances, it could also represent hope.

What are the odds

 

There is a private library that would give away old books, probably to make room for new acquisitions. I’ve helped myself a couple of times to whatever I thought was interesting, including some classic books. Haven’t read all of them. Recent conversations with family about European pilgrimages and my desire to visit the Cathedral in Cologne, the Vatican, and Lourdes reminded me that I once obtained a  pocket-sized Schwann Travel Guide for the Lourdes Cathedral Tour, Paris, Reims Chartres published by Helicon Press, Inc. in 1958 from that private library I mentioned. Before posting this, I opened the first page and saw someone’s name—a Baines—maybe a surname or first name. I then randomly opened a page and interestingly saw a date. Other pages also had dates, potentially Baines’ intention to take note of when they visited those sections in Lourdes. Last night, I watched a brief Youtube video on Lourdes and St. Bernadette. What are the odds that the travel book I got a few years ago would make perfect sense to me now. And that I would be born years later on the same day that Baines visited the Cathedral? Just to make this more exciting, last weekend while waiting for takeout, I sporadically went to the bookstore nearby and on a whim grabbed a book by Daniel Silva entitled “The Order” which is set on a fictional Vatican post-St. John Paul II. Though within the context of Catholicism, the protagonist is an Israeli art restorer and intelligence operative. To piece things together…the travel book I got was from a private library housed in a Jewish facility. So, a Catholic travel book from a Jewish library and a novel set in Catholic Rome with a Jewish main character. Interesting, eh? I firmly believe that I should go on a pilgrimage to Lourdes—I would like to think that I am/ we are being invited by Our Lady. How about that? Ordinary folk like yours truly can dream, right? On the topic of Europe and the ongoing conflict...now, more than ever: Mary, Queen of Peace, pray for us. Sacred Heart of Jesus, pray for us.

P.S. Propaganda is prevalent and can appear in seemingly mundane posts online. Be wary of how you expose your subconscious. For me, an attack that is not provoked…picking a fight…a desire for power…I don’t know how that is ever justified. Nobody wins. I remember a Sun Tzu quote about how the greatest victory is one where there is no battle. Also, the attack isn’t just through blatant military activity but also through the bombardment of conflicting information. 

 

from pixabay.com, no attribution required

Kapayapaan: sa ating kalooban, kapaligiran, at sa buong sangkatauhan.
Makamit mo sana ang kapayapaan na kinakailangan mo ngayon.

Peace: inner, outer, and for all humankind.
May you find the peace that you need at this very moment.

Confusion

What’s mind-boggling is the kind of fierce passion of certain persons against anything they consider as inconveniences. Or whenever exclusive privileges they have been enjoying are now under threat of being shared with others. Really bewildered by the haughtiness. 

Diaries

 

July 3, 1994: my very first diary entry! I was in high school, during a time when slam books and diaries were common. I remember purchasing my first diary from a store called "National Bookstore", which was my go-to school supplies and bookstore. Like my peers, I had a stash of stationery (including those cheap perfumed ones), envelopes, pens, or stickers (to seal my letters) since writing notes or letters was a popular pastime. My high school class is about to celebrate our silver jubilee (unbelievable how time flies--though mind you, we were not in the K-12 system then). Part of this celebration involves a fundraiser for the benefit of mission schools in my home country (ang Republika ng Pilipinas) through a special undated daily devotional journal with reflections contributed by some of my batchmates. I think it's a fantastic idea which was why I purchased a few copies for myself and as gifts. A journal is certainly very representative of who we were as a class--a generation of teenagers who enjoyed handwritten notes and carried a filofax organizer (see Wikipedia entry here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filofax). Truth be told, I still keep a daily agenda--mostly for work or appointments. There are calendar applications on the web, but I still keep something physical. When I write something on a daily planner or agenda, I'm more likely to remember it. Or if I don't remember the thing I wrote, I will remember that I wrote something down which will lead me to that thing that I wrote down.

Compared to the 90s, I write about my day much differently now--this blog is a less literal expression of things I want to occasionally capture about my daily life rather than a "Dear Diary" sort of thing. The point of this post is that I may revert back to that "Dear Diary" sort of thing through the daily devotional journal from my high school class. BUT it will not begin with "Dear Diary" nor will it have many trivial things in it (such as what I ate for lunch). Maybe a single important thing per day that is worth writing about. A little noteworthy fact about the daily devotional journal I have is that it has empty sections for "I am grateful for" and "Lord, I pray that"...what a beautiful way to examine one's daily life. Socrates once said that "the unexamined life is not worth living."

This doesn't imply that I will end this blog; it is, after all, a journal of sorts, isn't it? You may notice that I've added some Google AdSense here, but honestly, I have received zero-nil-zilch monetary benefits thus far (and that's since 2006!). So, you, my sparse readers can understand that this is meant more for capturing important thoughts than for anything  else. It may seem like a form of aggrandizement since it is publicly accessible, yet the truth is that this platform has a greater potential for longevity than paper. I just wish I knew how to save the contents. 

To end this post on a funny, nostalgic note...here's the inner front cover of my first diary with pasted cut-outs of celebrities I obviously had a crush on during that time. And by posting this, I am subjecting myself to various forms of judgment. Come on, I was a teenager. It was the 90s.

Here you go, presenting clockwise from the top: Joshua Jackson, Hugh Grant, Stephen Gately, and Scott Wolf. I was surprised that I didn't paste cut-outs of Brendan Fraser and Will Friedle....and if you're wondering where I got these, these were most likely from those Bop or Smash Hits magazines.

Since we're talking about diaries, how about listening to Bread's "Diary"?...Too much? Hah.

Ano ang sa Pebrero?

 

One of Van Gogh’s Sunflowers (public domain image on Wikipedia)

Here’s to the upcoming spring and reasons to smile. I learned that the sunflower was Vincent Van Gogh’s symbol for gratitude. Such a beautiful thing, isn’t it? A single sunflower consists of many little perfect flowers in the middle and each of the yellow rays are flowers themselves. So “one” sunflower could be considered a bouquet. St. Valentine’s day is in a few days and I suppose this would be an apropos post. Have a good mid-February, everyone. 🌻

Yield or Proceed

"Better to yield when it is folly to resist, than to resist stubbornly and be destroyed.” -The oak and the reeds (Aesop’s Fables) 

I was trying to recall an idiomatic expression about the resilience of the bamboo or reed and realized that I was trying to remember a moral of a story from Aesop’s Fables, which was required reading material when I was in primary school. The Oak and the Reeds is a fable about pride and humility where the oak represents pride and the reeds represent humility. Submit to the storm. Better bend than break. I’m sure that there are alternative and profound analyses of that fable including criticisms about the inaccuracies regarding the physiology and natural habitats of the aforementioned flora. Clearly the reeds were portrayed as the protagonists and the oak the antagonist so that if one were a very young person who just read it with the least ideal adult guidance—surely it proposes that submissiveness is an absolute good. I recently learned about the concept of ‘fawning’ as a response to trauma or ongoing trauma. A sort of non-action, or in extreme cases, the act of pleasing an abuser with the purpose of preventing conflict. I sincerely apologize if this is a triggering topic. I brought it up because it could be the worst repercussion of what an extreme form of humility or submissiveness can do. Honestly, I’m very confused. Very confused. There’s a tug-of-war inside my head between pride vs. humility. I’ve posted about accepting oppression or taking the high road. Similar to other opposing concepts, pride and humility aren’t mutually exclusive…I think. It could be blended to a ratio. As in the right amount of releasing the clutch and pressing on the gas pedal. Or just the gas, whichever transmission you prefer. And honestly, the binarization that is prevalent during this time is the reason why there’s so much anger, sadness, hopelessness, tribalism… I personally think that I should add a little more weight to my self-perceived worth than what I’m meant to believe. I understand the significance of humble gratefulness, yet I feel like I do not receive the amount of respect that is proportional to my actual worth. I remember Jesus’ parable of the talents and how one shouldn’t stay complacent or lazy about what has been given them and that investing in those talents will be rewarded two-fold or more. I’m still confused. Virtousness is frowned upon. Arrogance is frowned upon. Kindness is weakness. Publicly lifting others is suspicious. Self-promotion is obnoxious. So where does one put one’s self? Hide in a remote mountain or go deep into the jungle where the nonhuman-human ratio is 100:1 or greater?

note to ourselves

(attribution free image from pixabay)