What's in the light box (updated!)

Image Source

I wonder what's it like to be at the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) Light Box? Last weekend, I saw on the official TIFF IG that there are promotional booths--even coffee? Would 30-40mins be sufficient to briefly explore, say on a Monday? Why am I asking the etherwebs (Get it? Ether: Air, Webs: short for Interweb or Internet)? This is a continuation of my last post and I am bracing myself during this calm before the storm at work. So how's Hospital Row? I had to return a super heavy textbook that I borrowed from our centre's library. A nice conducive nook on the nth floor. Here I am just releasing a big shout in a huge cave, waiting to see of the echo goes somewhere and eventually nowhere. I will let the weather decide for me. Have a good rest of the week, cyber people.

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Update: I got merch!

Incredible difference in the atmosphere between the whole north side of Queen St. and south of it all the way to the festival area. The weather was nice today so the lunch break walk was comfortable--slightly warm when the sun hits. I chanced upon a pop-up store of festival merchandise that is adjacent to the Princess of Wales Theatre where there were a few cameras, lanyard-wearing official people, patrons wearing their own VIP lanyards, and some large heavily tinted SUVs and vehicles around. I think I faded well into the hustle and bustle. I'm glad I had my TIFF membership card on my e-wallet, which was required for any purchase, and I got the gray hat I am flexing above. It was on display and the last piece of that particular design. The girl at the counter said that they may have more on their main store (I do not know where it was). 

Honestly, I don't know anything about the layout of the festival. I was hoping to find the Lavazza stall I saw online. I did see a bunch of other nice eating spots, but I only designated a few minutes for myself before heading back north. Fortunately, now I know where the Scotiabank Theatre is, because that's where I'll be this weekend. How exciting!

I learned about TIFF from a more senior colleague who retired a few years ago. She loved films and was likely a higher-tier member. I didn't understand the concept at that time, and I still don't. I suppose it's like being a member of a scientific community and the annual meeting is the festival. The programming is very much like a conference where multiple films are like parallel sessions. In time, I will better understand. 

cozy activities

...and self-soothing strategies. I have written and deleted this following section of this post a few times, because I initially wanted to go on a tirade about how my morning started (travails related to vehicle parking during a holiday parade day). Over it. Hakuna matata. I wrote the words, experienced catharsis, and avoided regret. How wonderful is the ability to edit, eh? If we could only have the same kind of backspace/delete/ctrl+X/track changes capability with our real lives, wouldn't that be great? No? You don't think so? Life will be boring, you say? Alright, I get it. Our mistakes are as important as the right choices we've made in leading us to this very moment. Even the most incremental modification...like the difference between 0.506 and 0.506127 (famous numbers by Mr. Lorenz and the butterly effect) can lead to drastically different outcomes. Anyway, let's instead think about Timon and Pumbaa and their problem-free philosophy...

Meanhwile, the bucolic old lady in me has returned to repursue some crafting. I am quite proud of a matching off-white beanie and cowl I made about 2 holidays ago. I saw a skein of the perfect shade of purple (or violet?) so I am attempting to make another beginner hat. Good luck to me. I hope this was entertaining and wasn't a complete waste of your reading time. 

In my mind's eye

I would like to report that I've been listening to holiday music already, particularly instrumental playlists in the morning and also while driving. Many years ago, I had a case of CDs in the car including mixed CDs of songs that were "burned" from either a computer repository or purchased from shops that sold mixed CDs. I used to be able to listen to louder and faster paced music while driving, despite chaotic traffic conditions. Aging has compelled me to dedicate focused attention and awareness. I think I can see better when it's calmer inside the vehicle, which is why I've become accustomed to cozy instrumental music. I can say that my poor eyesight is compensated by full auditory attention. These are realizations that make me feel insecure. I heard someone speak about feeling small when thinking about others who are better than one's self. I think people who have great eyesight and don't need readers are really lucky...and people who are over five feet and three inches tall...and confident public speakers. But as Max Ehrman's "Desiderata" goes, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

Going back to instrumental music and calmer environments, I thought to spend my free daily ChatGPt allotment for image generation by projecting what was on my mind (where I'd like to be) this Friday evening. The first image was from my initial prompt and the second was after a follow-up prompt to enhance the image. Clearly, these are AI generated because on the second image, the turntable is away from the rest of the record player. Also, there are ambiguous knick knacks on both images upon closer inspection. What's clear and explicitly part of my prompts is a steaming mug of hot chocolate that I would like to virtually raise: here's to the weekend, cheers.

Both images were generated by AI

The Name of the Rose

The 1980s mystery/thriller film "The Name of the Rose" starring Sean Connery and a young Christian Slater felt like an emotional workout. It was riveting, disturbing, and grotesque. It's from a book by Umberto Eco--I haven't read any of his books, but I remember a very thick hardbound copy of his "Foucault's Pendulum" at the library of the university where I studied in undergrad and later worked. I never touched it, but it was noticeable because I frequently passed by the aisle where it was and that was from 1998 to 2015. But I digress.

"The Name of the Rose" deals a bit about intellectual pride aside from distorted religious fanaticism. Sean Connery's character, William of Baskerville, is a Franciscan friar who was investigating a mysterious death at an abbey--very Sherlock Holmes. In many occasions, William is rebuked for being too rational and stubborn. It was his intellectual pride that led him to dangerous predicaments yet it gave him the determination to unfold the truth. I once read someone's comment about how this film had the ugliest looking characters (except for the ones played by Sean Connery, Christian Slater, and Valentina Vargas). Ron Perlman's hunchback crazy character was so comically gross, and his performance was effective in relaying that weird air of dystopia. 

The reason why I'm writing about this film now, after seeing it for the first time over two weeks ago, is that I just thought about how intellectual pride is both a boon and a bane. I used to admire intelligence...correction, I admire intelligence, but not as a standalone thing. I admire intelligence coupled with unassuming humble confidence and curiosity. Intelligence as a mediator for a greater virtue. Maybe like Gregor Mendel? These days, a vast majority can easily access information  using their portable devices (woe to you, Britannica, Colliers, and dictionaries/thesauruses). But true wisdom and wit, not the cynical and obnoxious kind, those traits are hard to make up on demand. William of Baskerville didn't possess admirable wisdom. The story is obviously molded to make the audience root for him--I certainly did--Sean Connery is portraying him, my goodness! But William was consumed with being right and that's a very annoying and off-putting trait. I'm not posting this to rant, I'm  writing to document some observations. I think I'm only seeing a superficial view of the story and it's probably studded with allegory. Did I enjoy it? I don't know--as I mentioned at the start of this post, it was like an internal exercise. It was hard not to feel anger, disgust, pity, etc. So I guess the film achieved in me something that any other art form aims to achieve and that is to express a kind of hyper reality to the audience. Part of art is to entertain, yet it is also a way for us humans to appreciate what only we humans are capable of as a species: sentience.

wanting what is easy

 

Photo by Anna Tarazevich from Pexels

January isn't over and you think you're ready for December? Hypersensitive to any type of communication you receive in whatever medium? Somewhere around the middle of January, I was on edge...with some dregs still present to date. It could be post-vacation blues or the transition towards middle age grumpiness. This recent video by Fr. Mike Schmitz was a sort of virtual commiseration for me...I felt the same way during the peak of January's busy-ness when I couldn't catch up with tasks and messages and everything felt like a piece of hot coal being thrown at me. There was a point when I thought to myself "why does everyone want everything from me?" So obnoxious, I know. I actually ended up having to assert and advocate for myself (diplomatically) and I'm surprised that I didn't feel an ounce of guilt. I was utterly overwhelmed. As Fr. Mike mentioned in the video, it's likely because we want things to be easy. I want everything to be easy and quickly figure-out-able, you know? Sometimes or most of the time, my mind is just at capacity. There were occasions this month when I became so tired at the end of the day that my speech was almost slurred and my eyes needed to be pried open. 

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On Sunday, we went to a local breakfast place and I saw a man on the table in front of me and he was writing on white letter size copy paper using a fancy pen. He was wearing a black knitted sweater on top of a white collared shirt and there were two other fancy pens hooked on the right side of his sweater collar. He had chunky gold rings on his right ring finger and his left middle and ring fingers. The ring on his right hand looked like a wedding band. The chunky rings on his left hand looked like various college rings--probably one for each degree? I don't know. He looked like a stockier version of Phil Collins and St. John Paul II. Based on my sleuthing, he was making an exam or a math problem set. He would briefly stare into space and then write a number, a close parenthesis, then symbols. There was a page with a parabola. That man isn't taking things easy...he's completely analog. What a refreshing scene. He could have modified some problem sets online or from a text book, but no--he went the careful thinking route. His dedication is admirable. Thought to share that experience.

Brisk

 I am writing this while on the sofa right after preparing my 4th warm drink for today—a cup of chocolatey peppermint herbal tea by a local brand called President’s Choice. It’s 10 degrees Celsius and we haven’t turned on the heating, because it’s still a comfortable kind of cold. The home-related mishap that I wrote about previously is now fully repaired and there were other minor home improvements made. Aside from that, there were other good news around achievements within our family and so we’ve celebrated those. I am happy to say that at this moment, I feel calm and contented. It is partly due to the weather and the natural seasonal colours outside…and partly due to my faith (work in progress) and trust in God. I’ve gone through periods of spiritual highs, lukewarm-ness, and lows—I’m thankful that I’m still being pulled towards this desire to achieve the fullness of life. With the unfortunate and heart wrenching events happening in other parts of the world, prayer and supplication for peace is crucial. In relation to prayer, I curated a personal playlist that I’ve been listening to while praying in the evening:  https://spotify.link/oL0ln9vzVDb. I randomly chose tracks from Spotify’s Peaceful Meditation playlist to create this.

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Yesterday at the supermarket, I saw a box of tea labeled “Stress Soother” and grabbed it. It’s autumn-appropriate because it contains cinnamon and I tried it in the evening as a nightcap, while burning a favourite candle. I burned the candle after cooking—highly recommended practice when using a bunch of aromatic stuff.

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In case no one has told you yet, I understand that you have worries. I will not deprecate your hurdles by saying that everyone is going through some form of hardship. Even though the next person is also going through trials, that doesn’t mean that there exists some measuring stick of tribulations. It is unwise to find comfort in convincing ourselves that others are in worse circumstances. Anyway, what I’m saying is that I think I heard you through the ether and that you may need an echo reply. Imagined or real, I know I would appreciate any kind of moral support.

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I will close this with a super mega happy thing that I got: a $3 reusable bag from the public library. For some time now, I’ve been seeing people around town carrying a canvas bag with the Toronto Public Library Logo. I wanted one, because I thought it was cool. I wanted to be the cool local who had the canvas bag—implying that I was a regular library patron. Superficial, eh? Well, no matter what anyone thinks, I am sooo happy I saw this. I’ve been asking libraries for it and they would always say that they’ve run out. This version is different because it’s black—the ones I see were the usual beige canvas bag with a blue logo. And clearly, this photo I took is some form of “flex” (as the kids these days say) because we recently organized our bookcase. This really made me happy.

concerts [with update notes]

[Update note: This post jumps from one topic to the next like a series of multicolored life saver candies linked together by a very fine thread (music).]

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Today’s Sunday mass was presided by a guest priest who was in town on the way to his post as a military chaplain. The impetus for this blogpost is the priests’s homily…not about his guided reflection of the gospel, but that he talked about Paul McCartney. How at over 80 years old, Paul McCartney is still on tour and fills massive arenas. Talk about aging gracefully and being a living legend. I’ve talked about him and the Beatles a couple of times on this almost 2-decade blog. I was a Beatlemaniac when I was younger, because of a TV channel that played Beatles music videos without commercials the summer before I entered 5th grade. I asked for a guitar that year and bought those song hits magazines with chord charts at the back. I wrote a letter to Paul McCartney when he was knighted in 1997 and asked my parents to mail it to him when we were in Los Angeles for a family reunion. I thought that mailing it from North America will likely reach Sir Paul as opposed to mailing it from Manila. Not sure if it went through, because I didn’t get a response. I rented laser discs of all the Beatles films and the movie ‘Give My Regards to Broadstreet’. It was a phase. Unfortunately, I outgrew my Beatles fixation as it slowly dissipated when I entered high school. But I was still into music and explored a variety of genres including classical—attributable to my piano lessons and annual recitals. I was in an all-girl alternative rock band in high school where I played a loaned electric guitar and sang back up vocals. We covered the Cranberries, Gin Blossoms, 10,000 maniacs… My husband was also in a rock band in his all-boys high school where he played bass. That loaned electric guitar I mentioned earlier? It was his older brother’s (now my brother in-law). We all met at a youth group when we were teenagers. What a segue, eh? And what a time to be a teenager in the eary 90s when it was hip to be in a band.

Interestingly, despite this whole 90s band fixation, I wasn’t a concert-goer. I suppose it was because I wasn’t aware of schedules—that and I didn’t want to ask my parents for money to get tickets. They won’t let me out late at night anyway, so why even attempt to ask? Hehe. 

When I started working, I had the fortunate opportunity to meet colleagues (from two different periods of my career) who were professional musicians. Our day jobs were far from music, but having coworkers who had musical alter egos is a gift. Music is this amazing feature that’s inherently human. The recognition of music and the ability to create it makes us distinct from other fellow large-brained animals. Anyway, I had the pleasure of seeing these former coworkers perform live during the times we were connected to our respective places of employment. Then this new interest in concerts came about. John Mayer in 2019, Tom Misch in 2022, and 5 Seconds of Summer/5SOS this year (because my daughter found out that 5SOS was going to be in town early this year and I thought it would be a good core memory for her to be allowed to attend with yours truly and her father…apparently, other parents had the same idea). 

I should see Paul McCartney perform live. Fingers crossed that he tours here. I’ll likely see John Mayer and Tom Misch again, that’s for sure. I don’t know all the lyrics to their music verbatim, but rest assured I’d be bobbing my head, awkwardly dancing, waving my phone flashlight, jumping up and down, or singing along to some songs. I’d likely buy merch. 

As I write this post while watching Dave Grohl perform Everlong on YouTube (video), I’m amazed by how the algorithms are designed to hook you for the next couple of minutes…or hours after that initial video. Like my Spotify and the smart shuffle feature. Great way to discover music and artists. How about I end this post with Allen Stone’s Consider me (video), that I’m watching after Dave Grohl…it just dawned on me that the girl in the video is the actress who played Cinderella in Once Upon a Time (still binge watching…season 4 now). 

Feeling great after writing this post. :) Thanks for indulging me. Sincerely, Anna from the 6ix who writes code to do applied numbers stuff. Whoah, rolling the dice, aren’t we? [Update note 2: this last paragraph doesn’t have a purposeful connection with the rest of the words above…clearly meant to pique an imaginary audience’s imaginary interest.]

”in the space of your own”

Passing the time at a Starbucks and listening to a Tom Misch playlist (current song is “Follow”, which includes a verse where this post’s title is from). I even attempted to write some random words in a little notebook that I keep in my purse for when I need to jot something down. This current situation is not purposeful. Another one of my attempts to capture an ordinary moment. Well, there is a purpose…to pass the time. I have been toiling and decided to take a much deserved break. 

Also, I wanted to celebrate this boundary that I’ve recently been able to establish. No work-related mental and physical activity outside work hours. Like emails, for example. And I think I’ve successfully established this boundary with others. There is one other boundary that I need to establish with myself: the reduction in reading of references like the nice-to-know material outside work hours. It is easier to establish a boundary when it comes to tangible aspects of our occupations. Enter-leave a building, boot up-shut down a machine, but think-unthink in the brain…challenging, especially in times of fixation about some project.

Car life folks and code copy-pasters

The online algorithms are so random that I recently found myself watching a lot of car/van life and camping videos (again). Around the time when we were all at home trying not to get covid (deliberate non-capitalization to express my repulsion), I started watching folks who go on survival camping trips. It’s a great way to examine and imagine life without materialistic comforts. I recently read a stranger’s post about the declining condition of our planet and how so many aspects are irreversible (like climate change). Really difficult not to think of the ‘what ifs’ and to consider some form of preparation for extreme calamities. It’s self-inflicted stress, in a way. There was a brief time also during the pandemic when I began watching clips of a specific type of ASMR on soap cutting to counteract the ‘the end is nigh’ feelings when thinking of apocalyptic possibilities. The soap cutting videos were bizarre, satisfying, and relaxing enough to lull someone to go to sleep. Not a good way to end a day, eh? It was a very brief fixation. 

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I have a GitHub account that I created years ago so that I could share some programming code for a brown bag session during my grad school training. I recently used it to collaborate and develop some useful statistical programming functions based on textbook formulas. The goal is to streamline certain work-related things. I’m not active on that platform and really just keep it alive so I can pull-edit-push code. There are a substantial amount of code that I use everyday, and there are a few functions that I still need to copy-paste from old projects. I’m a code copy-paster. Hehe. Interestingly, I tried Microsoft’s Bing AI…which is also GPT based. I tried it out of curiosity and there was a professional thing that necessitated me to at least have an idea how it goes. I asked Bing to write me code for a particular task. It was essentially the same as searching on a web browser except that the response isn’t a list of search results, but a synthetic conversational response from a chat bot. Like a written version of what Google or Siri or Alexa would say. That’s my observation. Most of us online consumers see the front-end side of things. When I wear my ‘work hat’, I usually see the data side of things in the back-end whether in flat text or spreadsheet format so it is helpful for me to have an idea how the front-end looks like. That way, I can present my analysis in a format that makes sense to those who only see the front-end. You know what I mean? Anyway, there are many occasions when I feel exhausted at the end of a work day even if I barely moved my skeletal muscles, because this type of effort drains the brain.

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On the topic of algorithms…I’m not amused with the amount of noise and junk that is being peddled to me. I have been actively clicking on the options that will allow me to train my news source apps (hopefully) so that useless information disappears. I’ve mentioned before that the currency of today includes attention. If content is unnecessary and suspiciously packaged so that a consumer (like me) will tend to give it attention or engagement—ayayay, no thanks. My time and attention are so valuable that I have to be very careful. I urge you to protect your time and attention too. It’s a messy and nasty cyber world out there. Let’s prioritize our immediate physical reality. Unfortunately, there are groups and institutions that thrive on negativity, chaos, and by making people feel miserable or inadequate (e.g., so that a person ends up purchasing some obscure overpriced knick-knack). Like Rumplestiltskin in the earlier seasons of Once Upon a Time (which we are binge watching), who finds opportunities when people are in desperate predicaments. Also related to monstrous evil, we just finished the latest season of Good Omens, which isn’t part of the Neil Gaiman book, but is an entertaining and twisted way to think about Good and Evil, Right and Wrong, morality and immortality. Brilliant shows worth the attention—my attention, surely.

what in the underworld heatwave?

This will be one of those non-introspective posts meant to express mind garbage. Indulge me.

It’s hot and muggy outdoors so the plan was to stay at home for the most part of the weekend. I still haven’t finished James Rollins’ Subterranean, because it was getting gory…as in human-decapitation-by-jagged-toothed-spiky-creatures level. Spoiler alert. I still like it and just needed some mental breaks. I’m avoiding nightmares involving being chased by ancient reptilians in tight underground caves.

So last night, I decided to browse through available romance ebooks from the public library via the Libby app and found one that had an interesting description. I will disappoint you by NOT revealing the title, because it was *insert this post’s title + fanning myself*. maybe I’m embarassed—I know I shouldn’t be, because the author writes well, but the sides of my face are now very warm. The book’s heroine was an autistic econometrician (well, you could Google that and you’d simply find out, eh?). So many relatable aspects about her character, that…that…it’s as if someone picked my brain. I’m not on the spectrum, but share some characteristics. You know what? Fine. I’m embarassed that you, my imaginary/ non-existent, possibly bot readers will look down on me for having enjoyed a steamy piece of prose. I just finished the book. Read it in less than 12 hours. 🤓

So there’s that. I will now publish this post, go to the fridge and pour myself a glass of cold sparkling water.

Happenings

 

Clockwise from L: the massive sun setting at past 8pm, the new moon and Venus from a few nights ago, great hall event I attended over a week ago, my first beef stroganoff with penne (it was *chef’s kiss*), a plate of lazy mom chocolate chip cookies (store-bought dough)

Absolutely love the mundane. It is charming. I hope you’re having a nice mundane day. 😄🌸🌺🌻🌷

head of state

 

I took a nice image of my mid-morning snack. The box of Typhoo tea that I bought two years ago will expire this year so I need to finish all of it (it’s by the hundreds…erratum: box of 80). Why did I buy aforementioned tea? Because it was a rare sighting for me; found it at a grocery store from an out-of-town trip. LOL. I put unsweetened oat milk on it, because it doesn’t overpower the taste of the tea and it’s my way of cutting down on dairy. 

Beside the mug is a pack of Skyflakes crackers. Delicious common Filipino crackers. Great with canned tuna or any type of cheese.

Fusion snack. Indulge me and my pretentiousness.

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I understand that the monarchy is a touchy subject and that this may be an unpalatable post to some folks.

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Three years ago, I pledged allegiance to the monarch of the United Kingdom as a citizen of a Commonwealth nation. I’m certain that my peers from my home country either quietly frown upon this or are indifferent. After all, it was only in the late 1800s when my country of birth first gained independence from over 3 centuries of Spanish colonial rule. A lot of other occupations happened after that. Looking at this from a very zoomed out perspective, it’s a sequential change in allegiances, isn’t it? Whichever is convenient—is that it? That doesn’t feel good when I think of it that way.

I watched the highlights of King Charles III’s coronation online and the pageantry is certainly spectacular and familiar at the same time. It’s interesting to see representatives of different Christian traditions (a Roman Catholic cardinal included) stating scripted blessings to the newly crowned monarch at some point during the ceremony. 

Going back to my remark about the familiarity of pageantry and how I grew up exposed to it…Pageantry is probably not the best description especially since it’s as if I’m projecting this idea that I think it’s all for show…I actually like it. Why? It’s because of the tradition tied to the rubrics of whatever ceremony is taking place. That the choreography, words, and tools have been around for centuries and that these somehow connect me with our ancestors. Don’t get me wrong…I like change as well, rather, I like adaptability. My opinion is that the centuries old traditions that can still be done today keep us connected with the greater human story.

I am a person of structure in most aspects of my life. A sense of order represents stability for me. Routine, lists, schedules…certainties amidst uncertainty. It is comforting. It is identity-building. The comfort lies in knowing who I am based on where I’m from, knowing the circumstances that made me who I am, and the common day-to-day things I do. Now that I think about it, I’m probably a good target for criminals for being predictable, eh? Am I glad I’m nobody and don’t have hefty assets or some important information to be ideal prey. But that’s who I am—almost robotic. Most of us are, I think. Like those NPCs (Non-Playing Characters) in video games (disclaimer: I am not a gamer, I am old, and I learned that term from my kids). I always felt like the filler. I mean, I am surely of value within my nuclear family, but if we were to consider the bigger picture…I am on ordinary citizen. The common folk. A count on the census. If I haven’t been blogging, nobody would know the joys and travails of the ordinary human in this specific era of human existence. Because the things in my head are now concretized in this medium—whether or not this persists in the succeeding millenia—I hope it helps some future version of an archaeologist. The common citizen cyber-excavated from an ordinary cyber location surrounded by ordinary fragments of data that existed at a particular point in time. Well, I hope this helps someone’s thesis in the future. Maybe I should write a post that is purely in my native language—deepen things a bit. How vain am I? LOL. 

Back to our theme of tradition. Cheers to tradition and rubrics and pageantry. And as is appropriate during this time…God save the King. Mabuhay ang sangkatauhan. Malayong lupain amin mang marating, ‘di rin magbabago ang damdamin. 

Springter

https://pixabay.com/users/natashag-363234/

 

Friends, we have double-digit positive in the Celsius scale today and that warrants a positive and rambling blogpost! Suffice to say that it has been a bustling past few weeks and I extend my utmost gratitude to the whole cast and crew of my central nervous system. The stars of the show are still hard at work as we cyber converse. I had to take a Tylenol this morning--that's the only negative thing we will input in this post--just to add a little balance. Oh, and we now have a new household resident: our Keurig K-Express, just a few days old. Who else tends to fixate on non-essential items to distract their busy schedules? I personally tend to generate a list of items or aspirations in my mind so that I can think about these items or aspirations when I'm about to sleep or when I'm alone doing mundane non-verbal day-to-day activities. We're a thinking species. We think when we're laser-focused on a task, we think when we're eating, we think even during the occasions when we think we're not actually thinking. It's like breathing. Hah! I made you conscious about your breathing. This blogpost is a tangible version of what I'm thinking this very moment. Well, what do you know, the concept became concrete.

Insidious return of jinx hendrix

 

Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV from Pexels

Didn't knock on wood enough times. Let's call the bane of the current reality as jinx hendrix--the non-musical, bad-vibes, PTSD-causing version of the uber-talented Jimi Hendrix. Does not even deserve a proper noun status so we'll leave jinx hendrix uncapitalized. Once again, creeping in slowly and slipping what it assumes to be unnoticeable machinations. You know, we should really be wary of things we cannot immediately see with our naked eyes...the havoc these nanoscopic creatures can wreak. Some of them causing pandemics and whatnot, you know. Anyway, call this finger tapping on the computer keyboard as my equivalent of deep breathing--asdf--jkl;--asdf--jkl;--asdf--jkl; 

Grateful for coping mechanisms including those that exist and embrace us with a blanket of mental comfort. Thankful for that. Their existence. For the inspiration. Also, more than ever, the medallion on my chest exhorts me to state Ô Marie, conçue sans péché, priez pour nous qui avons recours à vous...okay, I cannot pronounce that, let's go with O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. I wear it since it was a gift from my sister and that it inspires me to seek for graces including graces that I lack but don't think I should ask for. Isn't that a nice predicament? To be given something you didn't even think you need?

Battery Low

 Imagine a zombie apocalypse and you’re running away from a horde of energy-draining zombies. Yes, zombies instead of the usual energy vampires. Vampires are too fast, it won’t work for this symbolism. Method of escape: family movie night involving The Hobbit. For the nth time…a  fantastic 3-hour fantasy extravaganza based on a Tolkien classic. Fun fact, Tolkien and CS Lewis knew  each other—contemporaries. Spiritual people, might I say. 

Nineties flashback and music

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

A long time ago during the mid-to-late 90s, it was an "in" thing to be in a band...and join battles of the bands or perform in high school variety shows or rent a cheap recording studio so your amateur band could create demos of covers. If your parents were the cool type, they would give you your own beeper (a.k.a. pager). One would own loads of stationery (scented or made from recycled paper) and different coloured gel pens so you could write notes and pass them during class (preferably in between classes). After periodical exams, you and your friends would go to the nearest arcade and have your sticker photos taken. You would go to the school/office supplies store and shop for pens and more stationery. You owned a boom box and lots of blank cassette tapes or "burnable" CDs...made mixed records and gave them out as gifts. You had graduation photos printed in multiple "wallet" sized copies so you could write dedications at the back and give them to your closest friends. 

This clouded, hodgepodge, mental trip down memory lane is certainly grammatically criminal. So in the spirit of rogue English syntax, I abruptly shift from the second person to the first person then third person...

I would very much like to possess an electric guitar, amplifier, and those special effects pedals that I have never tried in my life. Maybe pretend to be the late Dolores O'Riordan and sing "Linger" with an Irish accent. I'll just entertain the thought and wait for as long as I can until this fixation fades away. Or not. We'll see. One should probably give attention to things or tools that are available...such as the instruments one (I) currently own(s). There are many other important bullet items on the list of what Needs to be done as opposed to what one Wants to do.