My country=irony

My country is corrupt because the government is perfectly imperfect. The political set-up is so imperfect...there are so many loopholes...so many levels that it's just an ideal place for the corrupt. So many people to point at...so much time to hide...so many ways to steal and make fools of the countryfolk. I do not believe that we're uneducated, that we are not aware, we're just all still trying to figure out who the bad guys are, because there's just too many of them! We're all scared to rise up in small groups because to the government, its countrymen are dispensable....to maintain the status quo requires some form of garbage dumping....dispose the leftists, dispose anybody who makes a raucus---anybody who is a nobody.

The only exception to that case is when the squealer is actually from the inside. That requires an intricate disposal scheme...it will take time...it might initially involve character assasination, tremendous acting skills, & bribery. And the country stops....the country revolves around the issue...so much time is wasted. So much beating around the bush. And the bad guys fly abroad to hide and wait to be forgotten. Because this happens all the time. It will all be over soon...just stall because the people have short attention spans.

We're all stuck in a rut.

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I'm sure I voted for the right people; I'm just wondering if the majority of my fellowmen truly voted for the Judases . And the voting system is another story altogether....Filipinos can create almost 'unhealable' computer viruses, can pirate just about anything, make solar-powered vehicles, use biometrics for the government insurance system...but it's just impossible to automate and create a secure electoral process....and to develop it's own Broadband technology. For an outsider, that would probably be funny.

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So much talent in the country, so many fantastic athletes, so many great minds and great discoveries and great innovations....and the government doesn't give a shit about honing and perfecting what it has. It prefers outsiders. It prefers kickbacks. It's like a pimp selling our country cheaply.


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Filipinos are forgiving, we have short-term memories. We rise up, mobilize on the streets and when something concrete (not necessarily what we hoped for) happens we're fine. No evaluation. The bad guys of yesteryear are today's heroes. Same old faces...same old last names.

What we consider as our asset is actually causing our downfall....I'm a Filipino and we're a hospitable people.

the raw honesty of community

I had a fantastic time earlier today. My students conducted a community health education seminar to pre-school kids and it was incredible. Kids are just amazing. They're so honest and unassuming. The minute they hear a popular tune, they immediately start to dance. My son is exactly like that.

I've always loved being exposed to close-knit communities. Despite the generally cynical and pretentious environment of the academe, the most fun and comfortable periods of my life as a teacher are when I do field work and meet honest people. Blue collar employees. Housewives. I'm intrigued but at the same time intimidated with them, because I know they're very good judges of character.

I'm very poor in spirit, but everytime I'm in a middle or lower-class community (in terms of income, not of dignity....I actually think that people in this bracket are the most distinguished people in the world), I experience some sort of high...the sort of high one gets when amidst high officials or celebrities.

I have very high regard for people who are in-touch with reality. People who always struggle and yet overcome struggles constantly. Those who work as much as they earn. I'm sorry, but I'm not very impressed with people who sit in air-conditioned offices, wearing suits and basically earn ridiculously high paychecks and live extravagant lives (that remark just included a few people I know, but I'm speaking of those who do not know the value & meaning of work).

Now I realize that being educated is a bane. If one is not alert, too much education and superficial titles can actually cloud one's principles and lead to tunnel vision. Of course, that's a case-to-case basis.

I'm envious of people who are unsuspicious, not self-righteous, secure, altruistic, & unafraid of disappointment. The complete opposite of who I am.

Witchburns of real life

I just saw the movie Sydney White, a parody of the classic Disney cartoon Snow White, where Amanda Bynes plays the title role as an empowered version of Snow White. Anyway, my character of interest is the antagonist, Rachel Witchburn (played by Sara Paxton). In the film, she's an ambitious and self-absorbed elitist who is obsessed about maintaining her status as the hottest and most beautiful girl on campus (based on a MySpace poll). Witchburn is all over the place: president of the student government and president of a sorority where members look like Barbie. She's so easy to hate, especially because past that seemingly soft-spoken and dainty facade is a cold-hearted bitch from the last circle of hell. She's manipulative and gets what she wants simply because people are really scared of her.

The happy ending of the movie is a result of the silent majority finally standing up to her. I really think it's a relatable movie. The type A personalities who only comprise a minute proportion of the populace really cause unnecessary emotional hang-ups. Based on Wikipedia, type A personalities like Witchburn are characterized as high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about the smallest of delays. I'm sure there are very few type A individuals, but what I noticed is how they're present in every nook and cranny of society. It's like they're evenly dispersed. You know, imagine all the work places and classrooms of this world and there's at least one of them. All sorts of packaging: male/female, straight/gay, young/old, dainty/boisterous, smart/pretending to be smart....

...one thing's for sure though, people tolerate them. I suppose they add a little spice to an otherwise boring environment. If they weren't there serving themselves and wreaking havoc, then what would unite the rest of the populace? No gossip. Nothing to rant about. Nobody to bear false witness against, right?

...and then at the end of the day, we all start to feel guilty and say, let's give her/him the benefit of the doubt, maybe there are reasons why his/her behavior is such or such...blah blah blah...and then Witchburn irks us again by committing another kind of oppression...and then we start with the rant cycle once again.

Such is the irony of socializing. Of human civilization. Of these incredibly annoying yet pitiful bunch of Rachel Witchburns we call colleagues, classmates, relatives, etc. Life isn't as colorful if it weren't for these pesky characters who constantly push our buttons.

Wilde ideas

Oscar Wilde once said, always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. It's initially funny and then it becomes ingenious and eventually...ironic. Is forgiveness true when there's an ulterior motive? Hmmm...hmmm...it does entail some measure of sacrifice and pride-swallowing so I suppose it's alright, huh?

Kind of like when you're going about your life doing your thing and then someone tries to provoke you by posing some sort of who's-better-than-who game....and you don't give the other party the satisfaction by keeping your mouth shut, eventhough you're so tempted to recite a litany of your accomplishments and do-gooder activities. But your conscience, fortunately, gets the better hold of your pride so you just smile and say, wow, good for you!

I believe that people are innately proud. Pride is like the ring of Mordor in Gollum's hand....precious. It's good to practice being loosely tied to it like Frodo. There's really no use nursing one's pride all the time and flamboyantly parading it around. Not practical. A waste of time.

solitude

Upon my father's suggestion, I read Henry David Thoreau's Walden. Not the entire book, but the chapter entitled Solitude. It's refreshing and I can completely relate with the idea of living amidst nature and loving it. Sometimes, being surrounded by too many people is suffocating. Not that I'm anti-social, but occasionally it helps to commune with nature once in a while. I'm very shallow actually.

So I try to hang on to whatever strength I have left until this semester ends. Frankly speaking, I'm at the brink of a physical meltdown. I'm really very tired. I desperately need to read a book....and I desperately need to oversleep.

not paedomorphic

paedomorphosis is supposed to be applicable to species that have arisen due to the retention of a physically juvenile state in adulthood....and it's a term that's completely the opposite of who I am right now.

yeah, yeah, I'm not a new species...but what I'm trying to say is that I'm younger than how I look. I've always been consistently mistaken as at least 5 years older than my real age. When I was 20, someone thought that I was 28 (despite the sweatshirt-jeans-sneakers-messyhair look). And everytime the age thing comes up, students are always surprised that I'm still in my mid-twenties--as opposed to their perception that I'm at least in my mid-thirties!

Hmmm...I don't necessarily follow fashion trends and I don't think my look is overly outdated, so I still don't understand why I don't look like my age.

So I resolve to just let it go and not obsess about the issue. I do not intent to change anything about myself anyway so I suppose I should just consider it as sort of a compliment. That perhaps I seem, uh, mature?....eventhough based on my self-awareness....that I am far from being even remotely considered mature. Example, I obsess about not looking my age. That's something a mature person shouldn't dwell on, right?

I just wasted a good amount of time. Pitiful.