On being spiritually tepid

I have been a very moody woman these past few days and it's probably caused by many little annoyances that have stacked up to form one huge trident that's poking me. Yes, I admit that I'm currently very uptight and definitely have a stick up my rear. I find myself distracted and disorganized and just plain out of control. And I'm very very very tired...tired of work, tired of school, tired of pretending I'm not affected whenever this certain someone implies that I used witchcraft or coerced my husband to marry me (am I that butt ugly? That's a rhetorical question), tired of being broke, tired of commuting. But everytime I see my son's grin or his tricks, I become recharged. Oh well. To be filthy rich and unemployed would be very ideal at the moment.

And then I realized that I haven't been communicating with Our Lord that much. Not to be preachy, but even though everything seems to be going well for you (as in you are busy, etc etc), at the end of the day you still feel empty and sleep with a frown on your face. I've been forgetting Him. There have been many times that I've forgotten to express my gratitude for waking up, not having to line up for public transportation, having a family, being healthy, and others. I don't ask that much whenever I pray, but I have recently failed to talk to Him.

I now resolve to take it slow and enjoy each moment I have with my son and my amazing husband. I've been self-centered these days. Bad bad bad.

How much of a non-conformist I am than I actually think

You Are 65% Non Conformist

You are a pretty serious non conformist. You live a life hardly anyone understands. And while some may call you a freak, you're happy with who you are.

Are You a Nonconformist?

There you have it.

Frase de la dia

Verbal diarrhea...

That is my phrase for the day. It's probably meant to describe someone who just can't shut up. I overheard my brother's friend say "I'm sorry, I have verbal diarrhea" while they were drinking at the living room downstairs. Very creative...sounds like something Bart Simpson would say.

Maybe I could have two phrases for today...the other one is aptly "verbal constipation" which can be used to pertain to an untalkative person. Let's make verbal diarrhea and verbal constipation the new SARS and malaria...pathogenesis has yet to be discovered.

Tardiness is a bane

As much as possible, I try to be punctual. But punctuality doesn't seem to always be on my side. For instance, this morning, I woke up 45 minutes late. I dutifully set the alarm to 6am, but I unfortunately failed to turn it on. OKay, so at least I still had over an hour before my 8:30am lecture. My stepmother was in the shower and my brother was next in line. So I decided to NOT take a shower and simply hygienically change my clothes and wash my face. I had my breakfast and decided to ask our household help to look for a cab while I "number 2" hehehe. She couldn't find a cab at quarter to eight since it was rush hour. So I decided to walk to the jeepney station. The first ride to the Light Rail Transit took about 10 minutes. But the second ride from Buendia-LRT to Padre Faura took an hour! The traffic flow was moderate but the jeepney driver stopped at every block even though no one was hailing it! ARGH!

I was almost half an hour late for class so I went straight to the classroom without stopping by the faculty room and apologized briefly for being late. The lecture had to proceed even though I planned to use a powerpoint presentation and an LCD monitor. It was a good thing that I uploaded my lecture beforehand so my students had a printed copy of my lecture that morning. I had to improvise and use the old school blackboard and chalk method. I was annoyed. I hate improvising and not being on time.

The most annoying part is that it was all my fault. No valid excuse to vindicate my tardiness. I should've woken up early...as in really early.

Teaching as a popularity contest

Students these days think that their professors are stupid...that triggering that sensitive issue of "who is the better teacher" will help them get what they want. That's the problem with having many instructors teaching the same course. Even if you have a syllabus, required textbooks, and departmental exams, there will always be a tendency for teachers to approach the course in varied ways...not because of vanity, not because they're lazy (well, perhaps some are), not because they're power-trippers (again, some may be...)but simply because different teachers are comfortable with different teaching methods.

There is no absolute standard in teaching efficiently. The point is, you can be a despotic, terrifying mentor or an approachable, lenient Patch Adams kind of professor and you will still have no control over whether your students will become interested or simply dread the subject you are teaching. Frankly, I'm sick and tired of pleasing students so I could get an "Outstanding" from student evaluations. I could get that by showering all of them with high marks even if they didn't deserve it or even if I didn't teach the entire semester. But is that what matters?
A friend of mine said that he would rather get a "Needs Improvement" from student evaluations because he was strict and required many things in class than get an "Outstanding" for being lazy but unreasonably student-friendly. I now realized that being considered a nice teacher isn't so flattering at all. "Nice" may actually mean: easy to manipulate, gives high grades for inexplicable reasons, and okay to disrespect.

That doesn't mean that I'm going to go on an all-out Nazi type of rebellious teaching scheme...I will just start not to care about whether or not students like me. I'd focus on honing my mastery of whatever subject I'm teaching (because I hate it when I can't answer a question...I never ever pretend to know the answer), that I'm not easily swayed by partial grade hoggers (oooh, I am so turned off by students who are grade conscious....geez, in the real world, grades may probably give you a job earlier than your peers but it will not assure you of success and happiness), and that I stick to the schedule. Yes. I will focus on doing my job the best way I can.

Hey, if students dislike me...too bad...but if they start to like me even more then well and good. Yes, it's time to stop focusing on the superficial. Anyway, teaching isn't meant to make you a glamorous, high and mighty celebrity. Such an underrated occupation, pays badly as well. Just can't help loving it though. What can I say, I'm a masochist.

i.am.a.dork

Independence Day (the movie) still brings tears to my eyes. Evolution intrigues me. My first crush was Egon from the ghostbusters. I had a crush on Data of Star Trek the next generation. I was heavily infatuated with Paul McCartney when i was in 5th-7th grade.

I almost cried when I read that Francis Collins was amazed that out of the 3.1billion genes that were sequenced from the human genome, only 20,000-25,000 coded for proteins and the rest is just junk...that the genomes of some worms, insects, etc had the same amount of coding genes...that even though that is the case, perhaps we utilized our genes better...like the english vocabulary...you can use it to make a simple driver's manual or create a complicated masterpiece like James Joyce's Ulysses....and besides, what other life form on earth can claim that they have sequenced their own genome?....haaay, how i wish i were a part of the human genome project....even if i sucked at genetics in college....because i didn't memorize terms and did well in my exams. wishes are free anyway. heck, i can wish i were jodie foster in "contact" or natalie portman in star wars....or just be natalie portman. =P