BUT......

i still would like to work in a museum or library. or be a sales clerk at sephora. that's what's good about the whole possibility of emigration...i can be whatever i want to be as long as i earn a decent living.

this philharmonic obsession must stop

because, you can't be a regular if you just play piano. the strings have dominated the orchestral scene because they're ubiquitous. does that mean i'm considering becoming a string player? hell no. no offence meant to violin, cello, or viola players. then again, why not? when we migrate, i might consider a shift in career. like play in a subway for change? la vie boheme.

bright and simple

And let me talk to you with your silence
that is bright as a lamp, simple as a ring.

You are like the night, with its stillness and constellations.

Your silence is that of a star, as remote and candid.

- Pablo Neruda

for vanity's sake

I should get the old school metronome. Just because a piano is lonely without a creepy, pendulum-sounding metronome to accompany it.

hello, from my house

I'm kidding. But if I had a house that's big enough to fit a baby grand...AND if I had money to actually buy a baby grand...

inexplicable irk

one day soon

I initially imagined that I would see The Little Mermaid for the first time on a cool evening. Well, my first time was on an unattractively windy, gloomy, overcast, drizzling afternoon and I was squinting the whole time. The experience was the complete opposite of quixotic. Well, I hope one day, one evening, I'd actually see her again. On a cool, starlit night just as I first imagined it.

choices

every second of every minute
we are tested
every hour of everyday
we are bested
by our reason, by the season

every start of every part
we are tested
every end, what we spend
we are bested
defying reason, just like treason

the risk of pain, what we weigh
we are tested
the risk of hurt, who we hurt
we are bested
raising reason as the reason

choices made, like a spade
we are tested
self-inflicted, pain-stricken
we are bested
by our reason, just like treason

to the end, we can mend
having tested
until that day, until we say
we have bested
for it was reason, God-giv'n reason

i look outside

and i see snow partially hiding narrow, cobblestone streets with bustling people in all black mumbling frenchified rolling R's or germanic V's or scandinavian AA's whilst i grit my teeth in an attempt to fake a grin and hide my dangerously dropping body temperature. so i pull my huge black, knitted shoulder bag like the only piece of clothing i have in this mental silent movie and close my eyes to recall home and temporarily warm my innards. indeed, home is where the heart is.

weathered memories

in the serenity of a solitary moment, recollections of the brightest sensations through carefully kept images rekindle the basic human curiosity about time travel. whereas the common mode would be a series of various retrospective trips, i prefer the repeated exposure to a single event, perhaps two or three. a standstill. a sustained being. an experience of indefinite length. of combined extremes: elation-depression, pleasure-pain, love-hate. like the bittersweetness of like poles that move towards one another but will never ever touch. a desperate longing to fuse all human emotion at the risk of a destructive yet beautiful tragedy. to be human is its own reward.

my philosophy of Rock

There are times when persons pick you to be their entertainment of choice, because you present this facade of meekness. Other times you just feel awkward with the unfamiliar way certain persons treat you. I recommend adopting my philosophy of Rock: "All ye fellow citizens who choose to be steadfast with your principles or wear your precepts on your sleeve, apply the modified "bah-humbug" outlook and apply passive resistance." No, resistance is not futile; it is protective. The drama of social interaction.

amateur video of walking

This was along Tietgensgade, Copenhagen with Kobenhavn station at the left side and the brown post office building on the right. Yes, it is a sucky video. I used my mobile so, excuse the prehistoric-ness.

on trains & subways

(The images are click-able, just in case you'd like to view the source or the detailed maps. My darn layout is too narrow, even if I worked for years to create this "Anna-ish" look.)

I easily fall in-love with places that have an extensive public transportation system. The TTC (above) is connected to the bus lines in Ontario so even if you live in the suburbs or at least 100 kms away from downtown (which is around the U-shaped, yellow track on the map), it won't be a problem. You just ride the bus nearest your area and then go down the stop that connects you to any of the track lines above. Well, that's based on experience since the two times I ever went to Ontario, I stayed at the Scarborough area with my in-laws which is way up northeast from the TTC lines.

Last year, I got to visit Copenhagen for a conference during winter so I used the bus-subway scheme going on there. The nice thing about the transportation set-up in that city is that you can use a single bus pass or ticket (see below) that you can use 10 times at the start of your commute (of course, I don't mean having the ticket clipped 10 times all at once).



I lived with a Danish host in the social housing area near the architectural museum. So I walk for about two minutes to a bakery where I ride a number 4 bus (or was it 6...whatever) and then get on the subway at the Nørreport station (one flight down...because two flights down will take you to a different train line, I think) and then get off at the København H central station and walk to the conference venue DGI-Byen, which is a new hotel-multipurpose wellness center.

The difference between the two lines, I noticed, is that almost each station in the TTC had a mini-mall underneath which I didn't find in the Copenhagen railway, well, except for the main station at København H. Of course, the people were different too. The second time I went to Toronto in 2007, it was also winter. I can say that Canadians are more laid back than Americans, but more colorful. I guess, we can categorize Toronto as some sort of global melting pot too. Meanwhile, Copenhagen, being an island that connects mainland Europe to Scandinavia is mostly composed of similar-looking people (with the exception of Turkish migrants) who walk fast. Well, it WAS winter so maybe it's a means of adapting to the cold. And the Danish, being socialists, have that "equality to the masses" vibe going on, which I really liked.

My gut tells me that it won't be long until I ride either of those lines for good soon.

I don't have a problem with the commute in Manila, especially since there are a lot of choices: jeepney, train, bus, multicab, tricycle...it's a matter of simply being a citizen of the world.

schadenfreude is very unattractive