Be stingy with one's greatness (motivation post)

Photo by Ryanniel Masucol from Pexels

 

When you are equipped with a considerable amount of knowledge, skills, unusual abilities--both requisite and nonessential--which are of value to you and more importantly to others, do not be an open book. Do not be a sample copy in a big bookstore chain where only the cover, table of chapters/contents, or physical appearance are given any time and consideration. Note that I'm not talking about the workforce or when you're in a job interview, which certainly compel you to showcase what you can put on the table in order to achieve a common goal whether helping make a company achieve its place in the Forbes 100 or how the breadth of your experience in transcranial magnetic stimulation makes you the most competent person who should be hired to zap neurons in the motor cortex in a breakthrough study. In those circumstances, you should be an open book...or maybe provide a complimentary chapter in your book. Are you catching up? Bueno.

Be an onion. A large white onion in a mountain of other white onions among other varieties of onions along the vegetable aisle of a supermarket. Be unassuming. Not for false modestly or self-righteousness. This is difficult, because depending on the type and degree of provocation, one's pride will tend to nurse itself. If someone tells you randomly and without prompt, I have very strong thumbs and I can see that yours are stubby, you might be tempted to retort, Well, I've been using thumb kettlebells to train my opposable digits as I'm representing my local library in the annual provincial canned sparkling water tab opening competition where the prize is a lifetime supply of canned La Croix sparkling water in passion fruit or mango...halt, stop, brake. Too much information. Lots of adrenaline mixed with pride.

My recommendation: examine the other creature. Squint your eyes to adjust your focus. Scratch your chin. Ask yourself: Does this animate form deserve to know the greatness of my existence? While one's instinct  would understandably resort to wallowing in self-doubt and pity and immediately write a mental note to shop online for fashionable gloves to disguise said stubby thumbs, pivot your thoughts. Does this person really need to know that your stubby thumbs are athletic grade or that you were once at the peak of your academic career and have a good grasp of the sciences or that you were a virtuoso and a multi-instrumentalist or that you've traveled to a Scandinavian nation alone or that you've seen a Van Gogh or rubbed elbows with notable figures or that you have a hefty pen collection? Is this creature worth divulging this valuable information? Do you see this creature as being part of your life? Do you need this person's validation? If your response is No to at least one of these questions, then imagine that superglue currently exists between your upper and lower lip and smile. Smile a knowing smile. A non-condescending antagonistic smile. Maybe a this-person-is-such-a-poor-cutie smile. Tell yourself, Oh no, I'm not interested in this game and I am not playing. The layers of my precious onion are reserved for certain entities...or maybe nobody at all. *hair flip*      

 

mental escape by succumbing to free enterprise

 

It has been a full year of drastic disturbance in routine and I have journeyed through a mental and spiritual vortex. Although my ordinary domestic life is undeniably a cause for gratitude, this cage of uncertainty has yet to show some promise of full emancipation. Technically, even without the pandemic, uncertainty is there but the magnitude of uncertainty is exacerbated by the pandemic. Add to that the opportunistic powers that be in certain parts of the world that have conveniently used the pandemic as justification for despotism.

What does a vignette-filtered selfie of my newly purchased chunky hoop earrings have anything to do with this post? Or this royalty free picture of a lipstick bullet...?

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite from Pexels

...I've been distracting myself with material womanly pursuits related to my upcoming transition to pre-mid-life (the big 4-0) this fall (a crisis). Not the unreasonably expensive kind of pursuits, of course...I have spawns to nurture. Related to that is my current self-directed crash course in 'modern womanhood' by Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamo from the famous Ru Paul's Drag Race. I have yet to see episodes of Ru Paul's Drag Race because I don't have a Hulu subscription (and Hulu does not exist in this country). I'm familiar with the show because a famous Filipina queen named Manila Luzon was a contestant in seasons past. I discovered Trixie and Katya via the show UNHhhh through the magic algorithmic suggestions of YouTube. I also began reading their book "Trixie and Katya's Guide to Modern Womanhood" and listening to their podcast "The Bald and the Beautiful".   I know it's Lent and it's probably not a good idea to regularly immerse my ears in unapologetic libidinous statements from drag queens--yet, the depth of their perspectives on the realities of life such as procrastination and being women in 2020--I'm hooked. I think my general fascination and admiration for drag queens stem from my innate yearning for the pinnacle of my self-confidence. Plus, the loud guffaws that emanate from my diaphragm caused by Trixie and Katya's combined wit feels good. Laughter is always great. Daily laughter is fantastic. 

In tying the images above with all this rambling: I now have three hoop earrings in small, medium, and chunky medium (those are not real size names...just to convince you of the distinction). I bought two red lip colors that I will only wear when I don't have a virtual meeting and when I don't have to see people who are not my husband or children (they were slightly uncomfortable when I tried it once *lol*). Not even to take a photo of myself with the aforementioned lip colors. That's a couple of minutes of applying precise red lip liner and lip color---to go down and do the dishes and work on the computer. Maybe drink cold brew with a reusable metal straw too. I don't care if you're literally 360-degrees-rolling-your-eyes right now with the ridiculousness of what I just divulged. I'm not harming anybody. And please, if you ask me...well, are your lipsticks cruelty-free? Don't ostracize me if the cheap brand lip colors I bought probably aren't cruelty-free. So I may have indirectly contributed to harming some living creature, even though it might be an insect. Fine. I'm ridiculous, out-of-touch, anxious, exhausted...I should probably go on a 'virtue signaling' streak---but that's becoming mainstream...*insert maniacal boisterous unladylike laugh*

Unleash the craziness out from the brain through the fingertips. *chef's kiss*