Still learning how to live

Jenn Im mentioned a book by the author Brianna Wiest entitled “101 essays that will change the way you think” as part of her April 2020 favourites on YouTube https://youtu.be/IxeysaKFxuA .
I’m glad that the public library had the audiobook version available so I borrowed it. [Update as of 20May2020: I bought it on kindle LOL]

(Pretty good screenshot from my phone)

The idea of short essays appealed to me, especially now that I’m trying to consistently read daily reflections and pieces of prose that are meant to enrich my inner and outer life. At one point, I had a fixation on historical fiction or whoddunit novels. I suppose I’m trying to spend my introspective moments trying to understand and relish the present time instead of immersing myself in action-packed imaginary stories.

I had just finished listening to the chapter about the 10 things that emotionally intelligent people do not do. Without spoiling anything for copyright reasons, that brief chapter served as a good reminder. Now that I’m approaching my 39th year of existence, I’ve learned to acknowledge my emotions and not suppress them. That as Brianna Wiest implied in that chapter, it’s a matter of knowing the right time when to express those emotions. I love that chapter. It took a few minutes to listen to it. I’m excited about this book—really love the fact that I’m enjoying another recommendation by Jenn Im, whom I followed very early in her YouTube journey when she still shared her “Clothes Encounters” channel with her friend Sarah who quit social media to go to university. I had a thrift shop phase with my younger sister around that time. And then when Jenn was building her own YouTube brand, the background audio was fantastic and she would link the Soundcloud accounts of indie artists. Someone had recommended Tom Misch to her and when she featured his music on one of her vlogs, I   became an instant fan. I listen to Tom Misch to this very day. My favourite album will always be his music on soundcloud...Beat Tape 1. It’s on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/album/2FVfODkF1inBzSwB2plsYk?si=or8857TKRa627isoUCP_xg

This post is a celebration of ordinary day-to-day life. I hope everyone’s having an excellent yet uneventful day...

Tsaa*

Photo by fotografierende from Pexels

*Tsaa is Tagalog for Tea; pronounced as chah-ah

Impulsive tea shopping just occurred. Devoid of guilt. Correction, it may not have been impulsive after all, because I made calculated decisions on which teas are worth buying online, how many I should order to get the maximum benefits of my discount code as well as free shipping. I suppose the "impulsive" aspect is that I have never bought tea online. So why now?
For a little over a week before lunch time, I have not had coffee. But...I had a tiny cup of instant coffee at lunch today so that I could fully enjoy the two-tiered vanilla cake with Nutella buttercream frosting that I made with my daughter for Mother's day.

My current pride and joy. I know, I would dig my fork through the monitor.

Prior to this "gone cold turkey on coffee week," I had an unfortunate excruciating gastric episode involving massive amounts of deep fried pork belly and pork barbecue marinated in ketchup and possibly vinegar...and antacid medication. Let us not revisit the memory of where these wonderful Filipino delicacies came from and how I became uninhibited in my consumption of said delicacies. Let's just say that my gall bladder (probably my liver too) did not find it amusing that it had to unleash excessive amounts of bile into my duodenum to digest the unusually high fat visitors in my gut. I had two cups of coffee that same day as well. So, my stomach and esophagus were not very happy too.

Now that we have gone out of that terrible terrible memory...tea was my respite during my "calming of the GI tract" phase. I still had caffeinated tea...earl grey, orange pekoe, English breakfast, white tea...and decaffeinated herbal teas. Loose and bagged. I realized that I liked the whole protocol I've developed. I time my steeping depending on the tea. I follow package instructions. I use my oven timer. There's something reassuring about the certainty that I will enjoy my cup of tea if I follow the procedure. It's my way to sort of neutralize the looming uncertainty of the times. A way to comfort myself amidst the ebbs and tides of the human condition. Such pretentious profundity, I know. You know what, talk to my raised pinkie if this is too bourgeoisie. We have a street slang saying in Tagalog that goes "walang basagan ng trip" which literally translates to "Do not break my trip" where "trip" refers to whatever fixation or preoccupation one is involved in at the moment.

Walang basagan ng trip, okay? Fantastic.

So cheers to all of us. I look forward to my package of teas. That’s all one can do right now, create your own motivation...what you can look forward to despite or in spite of...

Global social media toxicity needs neutralization

Presenting some de-stress kitchen activities during physical distancing brought to you by my attempt to spread only good vibrations *cue The Beach Boys’ “Good Vibrations”*...

I’ve removed the handwritten recipes taped on the fridge (it’s steel and doesn’t attract magnets) and organized them in letter size papers inserted on plastic 3-holed sheet protectors within a red binder. Got a bottle of Weiman steel cleaner and now the fridge is so shiny. Very happy. Better use of my time than exposing myself to all the political and really disheartening social media posts back in the Republika ng Pilipinas. 

Humor and equitable amounts of ego and deprecation

YouTube is a rabbit hole. Make sure that you are still anchored to the surface. It’s ridiculous that I started searching for songs or recipes and was then led to a string of videos about convent life and ended up in astrology. New age stuff sounds like that ‘theological meringue’ that a cardinal (a few blog posts ago) mentioned in a homily. I’m not as fixated with it as last year—It’s as if I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear—it’s fallacious and can trap you in disillusionment. Anyway, this post was inspired by this random video suggestion on Scorpio moons: https://youtu.be/FjASf6PY2zc

At some point, in an attempt to better understand myself, I obtained information on my natal chart (which is complex, as everyone else’s). Libra Sun (my generic ‘Zodiac’), Scorpio Moon, Cancer Ascendant. Lots of Libra and Scorpio plus a Mars in Leo. Crazy person. Nah, we don’t have to believe this of course. I just thought that the video above was funny, because the girl was really funny and there’s a tinge of truth in it. My ego was stroked by statements about my strength and that it’s fitting because I’ve had a tough life. I disagree (as did the girl) with the opening statements that Scorpio moons present with  jealousy. Because, as what she mentions towards the end of the video, like most Scorpio moons I too can give minimal to no sh*t (excuse my language) about other people’s drama. I’m too happy inside my imagination OR too busy dealing with all the colourful aspects in my life that as the famous Sweet Brown stated on that viral video: “I ain’t got no time for that.” I don’t need anything from anyone, not because I have everything I need in terms of material things, but because what I need (as a person) isn’t material—and I know where I can try to obtain those needs. From The Lord, of course. I did have a dose of humble pie as in “yes I’m not such a great person because I can be stubborn and blunt.”

Interestingly, we are supposed to be represented by our chart, meaning, what I tend to be externally is a Libra, my emotions are that of Scorpio, and who I really am is a Cancer. So I try to be balanced, yet passionate, and maternal. Apparently the ascendant is the more global description of who we are (don’t quote me on this). So this is who I really am (in astrological theory-ish-im) :https://youtu.be/8Vf-LOK8z-Q

However...
We shouldn’t attribute who we are to these outer space energy thingies. It’s like conditioning yourself based on the information. We are who we are because of our life experiences...And that’s why we’re all different. We are all works in progress. So don’t be cocky that you’re such a strong person or wallow in being such a victim (boohoo) because you’re a (insert astrological sign). No, use your brain and your ability to choose. Be your own captain. You can choose to collide with that friggin’ iceberg because that’s the usual ending of the story...OR change the plot entirely. Captains aren’t always on ships. They can wear capes and always have great hair—guy or gal.