revisiting my calm place

Though there was icy rain today, on impulse as I left my workplace, I walked to this particular courtyard that I frequented a few years ago. I actually posted a photo of it in the past. There used to be a bench (I forgot if it was made of metal or stone) where I would sit during the warmer months and enjoy my lunch—it wasn’t there anymore. There were a few new garden benches scattered around and I suppose they did a little landscaping tweaks through the recent years. Interestingly, the small used bookstore beside the courtyard was still there and I managed to take a quick snapshot of a window. I missed this location and I consider it my calm place. I always imagined being there sitting on my bench...

It was foggy today and so the whole area looked like a scene from Harry Potter’s The Deathly Hallows where some windows were lit with warm white indoor lighting. This whole mini excursion was such a treat for me.

best medicine

Why is Spandau Ballet’s True such a feel-good tune? Whenever I hear the syncopated intro, I just know something good is about to happen like a good mix of nostalgia, happy-sad, and outrageous hilarity. We recently started watching Modern Family and I think it’s utter genius. There was a hilarious episode in the first season where the song True was featured and I realized how the song reminded me of the ‘good old days’…and the movie the Wedding Singer. Forms of entertainment that are lighthearted versions of real life are fantastic ways to appreciate ordinary life and that truly, laughter is the best medicine. Someone once said that they make sure that they have a good laugh daily. I resolve to do the same. I also resolve to do some form of exercise. Before posting this, I did a very short heart-pumping session and that 10 minutes actually made me feel rejuvenated. I was feeling lethargic and sleepy despite sleeping in this weekend, but the increased heart rate from that super short exercise lifted my mood. So that’s another thing I can do for myself this new year. So cliché, eh?…the whole resolutions thing? Nah, let’s do what we feel is best for ourselves. When we feel good about ourselves, loving others and being present flow naturally. 

I know this much is true.

Cheers, wait, what?

 Happy new year, friends. We’ve made it through another year—congratulations everybody (confetti)! Question: what if you feel genuinely grateful that you are living your dream only to be informed that you aren’t living your dream? That another’s idea of what your dream should be—is The dream? I could take it with a grain of salt and appreciate the time and attention, or go on a desperate pursuit of achieving the “alternate” dream? I shall go with the former. I find that being easily influenced isn’t always beneficial and I have been known to be indecisive (which is supposedly a Libra trait). I have also learned that things that are meant to be tend to happen seamlessly and these things are often unexpected. Of course, we lose nothing by considering external information and when we listen to advice. We are able to make informed decisions that way.

In my life, I’ve realized that when you keep private the things that don’t need to be advertised (let’s say, your tax return—to exaggerate), the less interesting and open to meddling you become. I remember three topics of conversation to avoid as an ordinary person: money, politics, and religion; because you may inadvertently pick a fight, unless you are purposefully trying to pick a fight. 

Unfortunately, life circumstances aren’t cut-and-dried. If you are in a bad situation, self-righteous people will try to help (there are those who truly help, like missionaries) but with their nose up in the air because they know they are better and it makes them feel good about themselves. Conversely, if you are in a good situation, some folks will provide unsolicited advice which could simply be a way to agitate you and potentially lead you to a mistake. I know I sound very suspicious and cynical. How else did I become this persona that is closed off, socially undependable, a weird conversationalist (or “quiet”) if not based on experience? I have learned to bite my tongue. I know that in the past, there were occasions of a bad connection between my brain and my mouth and I blurt out cringe things. Do you ever have episodes of remembering things you once stated and your body feels shaky and you want to yell “yuck!?” This post is just a start-of-the-year self-assessment. Releasing mind garbage to make room for this year’s upcoming mind garbage. Thank you for indulging me, cheers.