For leisure

'Idleness in this sense does not mean inactivity, but instead nonproductive activity. “Leisureliness,” says Daniel Dustin of the University of Utah, “refers to a pace of life that is not governed by the clock.' (Headlee, Celeste (2022). Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving. Harmony Books, p.xix)

How I've been trying to ameliorate the feeling of being overwhelmed is by borrowing books and magazines that are meant for leisure from libraries. We're talking about a variety of magazines like Cosmopolitan, Hello, Scientific American, Wired, or Consumer Reports; books like an atlas, The Magical World of the LOTR, or the book I just quoted above. An equally important part of the borrowing aspect is the act of walking from one library to another. That's not a surprise to you, because I've written about it before. 

My eldest currently has an affinity for libraries in terms of his program of study and part-time occupation. I'm immensely proud of that. He also just recently returned from an esteemed university in England for a summer course on Shakespeare. They weren't allowed to use devices in many of their sessions. And he was able to visit The Bod Old library! I'm super proud! I'm equally proud of my other children who also have their own different interests in the humanities. Libraries are all around you! You can borrow anything for free! Support your local library...including your nearby university library that likely offers public patron options. 

My eldest gave me this tote after he came back from his trip!

Autoreplies are on

I'm on vacation in the next few days, but I woke up too early this morning. It's still way too early to do anything at this lakeside location, so I've decided that I will take a morning siesta about 2 hours post-dawn breakfast since everyone's still asleep anyway. I could take a walk by the lake, but why spend this energy now when I can go all out later? So here I am, writing on my old, home button-equipped mobile phone, with my eyes progressively becoming heavy. The point of this post is to encourage you to listen to your body. If you ever feel guilty for resting, turn that imaginary volume control knob to the lowest setting and maybe turn it all the way until you hear that click signifying it's off. Close your eyes and drift to dreamland...or as I prefer it, no-dreamland-REM-deep-sleep-cycling nirvana. Here's REM's Daysleeper for inspiration: https://youtu.be/uUcKeKt8C1k?si=pssmq_yWav8EwvAn

Punctuations

Well hello there. This quick post is to declare on the interwebs that using an em-dash or semi-colon doesn't necessarily mean that an AI chatbot was used. I enjoy using the em-dash and/or the semi-colon to be more conversational (when appropriate). Or maybe I've read too many texts that use both punctuation marks. Technology has become so advanced (and continues to rapidly advance) so that complaining about how kids use AI for schoolwork is futile. Modes of assessment should be modified (or changed altogether) to adapt to the available information, technologies, and obviously tech-savvy school age kids of today. 

It's "The Holiday" Season

If you haven't seen the film "The Holiday", I urge you to watch it if you're inclined to see a classic feel-good holiday romantic comedy. It has lovely story lines and the soundtrack is fantastic! I decided to write this post after finding out that one of the scores I enjoyed the most in the film (embedded above, specifically at 1:40-1:53) was by Hans Zimmer (Interstellar). In fact, Mr. Zimmer composed most of the tracks in the soundtrack--and I realized that he's really good at composing melodies that tug the heartstrings. My husband loves this film and we've wept (happy-cried) uninhibitedly during the times we've seen it. It's as re-watchable as "Love Actually", "Notting Hill", "You've Got Mail", or "Kate and Leopold" (among other nice classic romantic comedies). Jude Law and Cameron Diaz were absolutely adorable in the film. Jack Black's character was very likeable (crush-able 😄) and Kate Winslet was so cute and relatable (I love the way she was styled in the film). Here's another score from the film, which was perfectly titled to accompany the story line of the characters Iris (Kate Winslet) and Jasper (Rufus Sewell)--a mixture of unrequited love and heartbreak (I like 0:43-0:57 and sorry for the spoiler).

To conclude this post, here's a nice snapshot of the changing hues of autumn vegetation...

 

The Name of the Rose

The 1980s mystery/thriller film "The Name of the Rose" starring Sean Connery and a young Christian Slater felt like an emotional workout. It was riveting, disturbing, and grotesque. It's from a book by Umberto Eco--I haven't read any of his books, but I remember a very thick hardbound copy of his "Foucault's Pendulum" at the library of the university where I studied in undergrad and later worked. I never touched it, but it was noticeable because I frequently passed by the aisle where it was and that was from 1998 to 2015. But I digress.

"The Name of the Rose" deals a bit about intellectual pride aside from distorted religious fanaticism. Sean Connery's character, William of Baskerville, is a Franciscan friar who was investigating a mysterious death at an abbey--very Sherlock Holmes. In many occasions, William is rebuked for being too rational and stubborn. It was his intellectual pride that led him to dangerous predicaments yet it gave him the determination to unfold the truth. I once read someone's comment about how this film had the ugliest looking characters (except for the ones played by Sean Connery, Christian Slater, and Valentina Vargas). Ron Perlman's hunchback crazy character was so comically gross, and his performance was effective in relaying that weird air of dystopia. 

The reason why I'm writing about this film now, after seeing it for the first time over two weeks ago, is that I just thought about how intellectual pride is both a boon and a bane. I used to admire intelligence...correction, I admire intelligence, but not as a standalone thing. I admire intelligence coupled with unassuming humble confidence and curiosity. Intelligence as a mediator for a greater virtue. Maybe like Gregor Mendel? These days, a vast majority can easily access information  using their portable devices (woe to you, Britannica, Colliers, and dictionaries/thesauruses). But true wisdom and wit, not the cynical and obnoxious kind, those traits are hard to make up on demand. William of Baskerville didn't possess admirable wisdom. The story is obviously molded to make the audience root for him--I certainly did--Sean Connery is portraying him, my goodness! But William was consumed with being right and that's a very annoying and off-putting trait. I'm not posting this to rant, I'm  writing to document some observations. I think I'm only seeing a superficial view of the story and it's probably studded with allegory. Did I enjoy it? I don't know--as I mentioned at the start of this post, it was like an internal exercise. It was hard not to feel anger, disgust, pity, etc. So I guess the film achieved in me something that any other art form aims to achieve and that is to express a kind of hyper reality to the audience. Part of art is to entertain, yet it is also a way for us humans to appreciate what only we humans are capable of as a species: sentience.

restricted access

Photo by Tara Winstead

Social media conditioning is detrimental--this is not breaking news. I'm sure I've thought out loud about this before. Even if I've limited my social media accounts and kept a lurker (or consumer) status, what I encounter during the day has a smidge-to-large influence in my daily life. There were surely many times when social media was beneficial, as in the case of real-time news about weather, traffic, and technological disruptions--but there is still AM news. Then again, our radio streaming is still dependent on the internet....oh wait, our alarm clock has a radio--that's comforting. 

Before I decided to write this post, I drank a glass of water with Alka-Seltzer. Why? I had a hefty serving of poutine, half a hotdog sandwich (shared it), and a zero-sugar (had to emphasize) soda for lunch. My gut said, "How dare you consume these affordable, delicious, highly processed material after being on a semi-clean eating streak? You have betrayed us! We shall decrease your gastric pH....Proton Pumps fire at will!" Then the gate-keepers guarding the junction between my stomach and esophagus cried out, "Ohr noehr, we cahn't keep the bahrrier!" (they are apparently Australian). 

To connect these two paragraphs above and my topic two posts ago: even if I've tried my best to resist negative ideas and habits, those "just this one time" exposures tend to lead to an avalanche of repercussions. It could be wasting time on social media about strangers arguing about politics of another country, or impulsively buying a lipstick that's supposed to look good on all skin tones, having a box of special-flavour cookies delivered, or becoming guilty about being a fan of a fantasy series involving a school for wizards and witches because it is evil, or feeling that I'm missing out because I'm not a member of so-and-so group or have not read so-and-so book...it's a lot of unnecessary experiences. One may say, it's self care: Do what makes you happy. You do you. Nah, it's not self-care. It's self-absorption. You may disagree and I respect your stance. My past self may even disagree with me now...I remember writing something along the lines of we deserve small invaluable joys. To an extent, sure, my current self thinks.

I realized that it isn't that my efforts aren't enough to keep my inner peace in check. It's these external things which are voracious and persistent. Their motivation may range from money to world domination. I don't really know, I belong to the lowest rung on the ladder of influence so I'm not privy to such global scale strategic planning mumbo jumbo. 

So I logged off my Instagram and Twitter. I will try not to use the two apps for as long as I can (update this morning: I turned on Instagram because of active message groups with kin and friends). I keep LinkedIn for work-related news (barely use it too). I keep YouTube for some healthy smoothie recipes or uplifting and funky music (is Spotify social media? I don't think so). Oh, but I have an anonymous Reddit account (facepalm). To justify my Reddit usage, I read about current events, what healthy stuff to consume, health-related experiences of women my age, or my faith (where authentic and qualified people actually respond). I'm not on it frequently so that's manageable. Honestly, Reddit is not as intuitive to me and I normally use the search bar to type a topic of interest. I have no other social media apps and it's quite an effort to keep it that way. 

If I ever caused you to rethink your social media consumption too, I hope it's for the better. If social media is your livelihood, more power to you and I'm sorry for not being a patron. It's just not working for me at the moment. I will be more open to real-world interactions and any physical form of information. I shall allow these tangible forms of information to be considered in my thought process. An exception: digital forms of relevant information such as e-books, journals, newsletters, e-mail...essential electronic material, if you will. If a message needs to reach me, it will reach me. If I need to reach out for a purpose, there are multiple ways to go about accomplishing that. Let's see if this experiment will improve my quality of life. 

I shall end this post with a statement by a writer named W. Somerset Maugham: "If fifty million people say something foolish, it is still foolish" (as quoted by Rolf Dobelli in his book 'The Art of Thinking Clearly'). 

 

power: literal and figurative

The torrential rain during the first half of today was disorienting. It is currently late in the afternoon and the sun has ironically decided to shine intensely. The overall mood from where I am writing this post is somber, which I attribute to a collective dried-after-being-drenched experience. The aftermath of the downpour included massive flooding and power outages--my home included. Estimated time of power restoration is midnight (I resumed this post in the everning and the power has returned :))

On the topic of power...During the past two weeks, our family rewatched the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movies in a piecemeal manner. This is the nth time I've seen parts or the whole of this series and it still gives me an emotional high. The dialogue, acting, cinematography, and background score are incomparable. I'm among the majority of the audience who enjoys all the battle scenes--not because of the violence, but because of the sequences and choreography. Include the little moments of friendly banter among the protagonists ("That still counts as one!" by Gimli) and also when Eowyn says "I am no man" as she removes her helmet revealing her gender and then proceeds to slay the Witch-King of the Nazgul after he taunted her and stated "no man can kill me!" Powerful scene. I feel for Eowyn all throughout the story, so much so, that I once posted how I preferred her over Arwen. I take that back; also like Arwen. But the character who reigns supreme for me (at the moment) would be Samwise Gamgee. The combination of fierce loyalty, selflessness, fortitude, and lightheartedness that his character demonstrated in the story is truly a benchmark. The one ring had such power over most people yet Sam was immune to its darkness. His fraternal love and integrity made him confident of his purpose. He was kind but not naive. Easygoing yet courageous. Now that's power.

 

hello from here

 

Warm temperatures and high humidity during the holidays--a welcome change. It looks like the solution to jet lag is discipline. Sleep when you're supposed to sleep and try to hydrate and stay awake when you're supposed to be awake. Will keep in touch.

OOO returning post-holidays

Officially activated the automatic reply after a full month's heads up of the upcoming out-of-office (OOO) on the email signature. Any request made within 48 hours that is equivalent to 2-4 weeks worth of work is deliberate provocation and power play. A simple, clear, non-combative, and non-patronizing response indicating that it will be on queue the following year is sufficient. I find major holiday or end-of-year due dates for any kind of paper output questionable, and I wonder who arbitrates or reads anything during those arbitrary dates. In my cynical opinion, I think those who make such out-of-touch decisions thrive in creating misery and are unable to see beyond their microscopic view of the general milieu. 

What am I doing? I shoudn't be ranting. Banish negative thoughts, my late father once told me. After all, "...the party's on, the feeling's here, that only comes this time of year..." Yes, Mr. Macca, I will aim to simply have a wonderful Christmas time.

Summer's passing by

Thought to share this photo of the cider I had last Sunday. It was a 20-oz glass of summer deliciousness. 

Summer is going well thus far, how about yours? My current formula includes physical activity, scripture-guided meditation, and fiction. Sleep could be better; I'm going to work on it. The physical activity aspect was due to a joint issue I developed that requires professional attention. A wake-up call of sorts. Glad that I sought help and didn't aggravate the issue by keeping sedentary. 

On the topic of fiction, I just finished this Ali Hazelwood book I started to read yesterday afternoon entitled The Love Hypothesis. If the copy of James Rollins' Subterranean that I loaned from the library had judgmental eyes, it would be staring daggers at me for leaving it on standby on page 172. I think it's fine to complement one's mood with the type of text you want to read for leisure. As seasonal as listening to the Summer Hits of the 70s playlist during the summer (cue Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra) instead of pumpkin spice or fall feels playlists. 

techie neo-luddite

I write code as part of my occupation. It is now a mix of a few programming languages necessary for my field of practice. It continues to evolve due to developments in computational efficiency—which is why my peers and I have to regularly update our knowledge. Things become outdated so quickly these days. Even the language that we speak, whether our native tongue (Tagalog for me) or Modern English, is quickly being updated. Modern English continues to evolve as a hodgepodge of new generation social media colloqualisms and I cannot keep up. I’ve decided not to keep up…rather, I’ve decided to selectively keep up. 

On the topic of not keeping up with the Joneses, I have not signed up for ChatGPT. My gut and brain are telling me, not yet. A recent discussion at work mentioned something about malicious code that may or may not be included in AI-generated solutions. I don’t know anything about that and am honest about not knowing how to use ChatGPT. Attribute it to aversion or maybe fear. I’ve entertained the possibility that my profession may or may not exist in the future. Scary, isn’t it? I just need to be prepared to be adaptable. Or retire early? LOL. I was told that we won’t get replaced by AI anytime soon and should probably learn to embrace it. I suppose I don’t fully trust it. I’m still Team Homo sapiens. After all, the human brain that created and continues to create all these technological advancements is still many steps ahead of its artificial counterpart. It’s still incomparable in complexity. An incredible organic machine. 

In terms of new networking platforms…I’ve resisted TikTok, Threads, etc…I left Facebook a couple of years ago. I have Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn and log-out of those networking apps when not in use. I understand that many folks make a living out of those applications and that’s amazing. For me, I know that I’ve wasted many hours of leisure time by randomly and aimlessly scrolling the interwebs instead of moving my body, sleeping at the proper time, or resting my eyes from digital exposure. When I stated “wasted” I didn’t mean that social media engagement is bad. It’s just that I am not as disciplined in terms of the amount of time I invest in it when I’m immersed. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I certainly find enjoyment and inspiration in it. I just need to make sure that I don’t let it occupy most of my free time. The easiest thing for me to do is to log-out, which has provided me additional time for real-life endeavours. Simply due to the absence of notifications. I’m attempting to retrain my fingers and muscle memory to avoid clicking on particular apps. Works for me.

What I frequently use are my audio apps. Spotify has that new Smart Shuffle feature for personal playlists so that I can discover new music similar to the playlist I created…I have the option to skip that recommended song or add it to my playlist. I still have my Apple Music, because I used to have a tiny iShuffle and have purchased music and albums in the past. Amazon Music comes with Prime so that’s also a nice app for interesting playlists. Soundcloud is still great…I don’t use it as frequently because I only have the free version, but keep it because a lot of independent artists are there. It’s nice to discover gems.

I’d like to think that it’s possible to be a techie neo-luddite. Appropriately connected to the digital world. Such that the kinds of digital connectivity varies from person-to-person. Connected to apps that are essential and/or beneficial but completely unplugged from apps that are not useful to one’s activities of daily living. Not the complete luddites who have absolutely no connectivity nor the super social media savvy generation alpha.

absolute belter

 

I made this collage of things I recently enjoyed. I saw the first two seasons of the BBC show Sherlock years ago and wasn’t able to see the last two, so I was so thrilled to find out that it’s streaming. Just fantastic writing—genius, artistic, snarky, witty, great entertainment. So many quotable quotes. Lots of tea, interestingly.

—

I finished watching Queen Charlotte and as expected, I loved it. It’s not based on a Julia Quinn book, but was created as sort of a backstory for the reigning queen in the Bridgerton universe. I’ve read the Bridgerton books  in which each book is the story of 1 of the 8 Bridgerton siblings with names starting with A, B, C, D, E, F, G, and H. Season 1 of the show was about the 4th sibling Daphne and season 2 was about Anthony who is the eldest. The show and the books are not exact copies, which is actually great. How lucky is Julia Quinn to have captured the interest of Shonda Rhimes, eh?

I’m not ashamed of being a fan of romance novels. LOL. I know there’s a lot of intimacy in that genre, mainly written by women for women so the storytelling is packed with emotional action (angst, humour, heartwarming stuff, etc.). Nonexpert notes, of course. Just an observation as an end user. But you know what really draws me to these stories? The anticipation of how the main conflict(s) get resolved. Great escape.

—

I was scrolling IG last night and saw a clip of Conan O’Brien talking to Julia Louis-Dreyfus and just started laughing because of a lipstick incident. Today, I listened to that podcast episode and then Julia’s podcast episode with Jane Fonda. I was thoroughly entertained and educated by both episodes. The main theme was aging. Like Julia, I’ve gone completely grey but have been dependent on hair colour to mask it. I’ve entertained the idea of going chemical-free…I’m still not ready…? Woe is me. Futile attempt to feel youthful? 

I thought that Jane Fonda’s insights on aging were helpful. It really is important to move and take care of our bodies. I’m glad I’ve decided to move daily now. How amazing is YouTube and free stretching and workouts. I’m certainly not hardcore like a few years ago when I subscribed to a gym membership for personal training and HIIT classes. It’s expensive in this country. 😆 On a positive and pragmatic note, moving consistently this past 1.5 months has done wonders to my mood and body.

Cheers to edutainment! 

— 

Happy Mother’s Day to fellow maternal units! 

head of state

 

I took a nice image of my mid-morning snack. The box of Typhoo tea that I bought two years ago will expire this year so I need to finish all of it (it’s by the hundreds…erratum: box of 80). Why did I buy aforementioned tea? Because it was a rare sighting for me; found it at a grocery store from an out-of-town trip. LOL. I put unsweetened oat milk on it, because it doesn’t overpower the taste of the tea and it’s my way of cutting down on dairy. 

Beside the mug is a pack of Skyflakes crackers. Delicious common Filipino crackers. Great with canned tuna or any type of cheese.

Fusion snack. Indulge me and my pretentiousness.

——

I understand that the monarchy is a touchy subject and that this may be an unpalatable post to some folks.

——

Three years ago, I pledged allegiance to the monarch of the United Kingdom as a citizen of a Commonwealth nation. I’m certain that my peers from my home country either quietly frown upon this or are indifferent. After all, it was only in the late 1800s when my country of birth first gained independence from over 3 centuries of Spanish colonial rule. A lot of other occupations happened after that. Looking at this from a very zoomed out perspective, it’s a sequential change in allegiances, isn’t it? Whichever is convenient—is that it? That doesn’t feel good when I think of it that way.

I watched the highlights of King Charles III’s coronation online and the pageantry is certainly spectacular and familiar at the same time. It’s interesting to see representatives of different Christian traditions (a Roman Catholic cardinal included) stating scripted blessings to the newly crowned monarch at some point during the ceremony. 

Going back to my remark about the familiarity of pageantry and how I grew up exposed to it…Pageantry is probably not the best description especially since it’s as if I’m projecting this idea that I think it’s all for show…I actually like it. Why? It’s because of the tradition tied to the rubrics of whatever ceremony is taking place. That the choreography, words, and tools have been around for centuries and that these somehow connect me with our ancestors. Don’t get me wrong…I like change as well, rather, I like adaptability. My opinion is that the centuries old traditions that can still be done today keep us connected with the greater human story.

I am a person of structure in most aspects of my life. A sense of order represents stability for me. Routine, lists, schedules…certainties amidst uncertainty. It is comforting. It is identity-building. The comfort lies in knowing who I am based on where I’m from, knowing the circumstances that made me who I am, and the common day-to-day things I do. Now that I think about it, I’m probably a good target for criminals for being predictable, eh? Am I glad I’m nobody and don’t have hefty assets or some important information to be ideal prey. But that’s who I am—almost robotic. Most of us are, I think. Like those NPCs (Non-Playing Characters) in video games (disclaimer: I am not a gamer, I am old, and I learned that term from my kids). I always felt like the filler. I mean, I am surely of value within my nuclear family, but if we were to consider the bigger picture…I am on ordinary citizen. The common folk. A count on the census. If I haven’t been blogging, nobody would know the joys and travails of the ordinary human in this specific era of human existence. Because the things in my head are now concretized in this medium—whether or not this persists in the succeeding millenia—I hope it helps some future version of an archaeologist. The common citizen cyber-excavated from an ordinary cyber location surrounded by ordinary fragments of data that existed at a particular point in time. Well, I hope this helps someone’s thesis in the future. Maybe I should write a post that is purely in my native language—deepen things a bit. How vain am I? LOL. 

Back to our theme of tradition. Cheers to tradition and rubrics and pageantry. And as is appropriate during this time…God save the King. Mabuhay ang sangkatauhan. Malayong lupain amin mang marating, ‘di rin magbabago ang damdamin. 

The darling buds of May (updated)

 (update) The original post title I wrote made me cringe…omitted that damp statement…shivering from the ew-ness. (end of update)

It has been drizzling/raining this past week, but I was able to find some window of time to take walks outside. Nature’s floral display is undeniably beautiful. Unfortunately, my pollen sensitivity is competitive. What have you been up to, my imaginary audience? Same same? Me? Ditto. I’ve been enjoying the serenity of more real-life living with a reduction in exposure to internet scrolling. Not a complete elimination of exposure—there are things online that facilitate access to happiness and/or inspiration. 😄 Everything in moderation. FOMO is an illusion. AM radio headlines, traffic, and weather: basic nice-to-know. The point of this post is to encourage you to go outside and enjoy nature. If I’m preaching to the choir, then perhaps we can spread the mood? Excellent.

Global social media toxicity needs neutralization

Presenting some de-stress kitchen activities during physical distancing brought to you by my attempt to spread only good vibrations *cue The Beach Boys’ “Good Vibrations”*...

I’ve removed the handwritten recipes taped on the fridge (it’s steel and doesn’t attract magnets) and organized them in letter size papers inserted on plastic 3-holed sheet protectors within a red binder. Got a bottle of Weiman steel cleaner and now the fridge is so shiny. Very happy. Better use of my time than exposing myself to all the political and really disheartening social media posts back in the Republika ng Pilipinas. 

on awakenings, prudence, and vulnerability

Today is Canadian thanksgiving day and this long weekend was filled with memorable moments spent with family and extended families. Truly, there is much to be thankful for--and to share.

 I had been fixated on self-development and self-discovery for the past few days. After numerous inspirational videos and podcasts, I encountered this old Oprah episode:

 

My favorite statement from the video stated by Dr. Brene Brown, a social science researcher at the University of Houston, goes: "you share with people who earn the right to hear your story." I tend to be stingy about my stories--primarily because it's exhausting to recollect and share them with people. Also, I have to agree with Dr. Brown about being careful about what we share with people. But, it's a trial-and-error process isn't it? People aren't labeled with "10% share-worthy" or "half-and-half share-worthy." The episode above is a useful guideline, but based on experience what I find helpful is to give a sneak preview. Like a trailer. As time goes by, I become enlightened and realize that my stories are either being used as a stratagem to capitalize at my expense or become the basis for strengthening a connection.

 On a related note, when we are fully aware of our imperfections and accept them or improve when applicable (if it's a physical issue, then acceptance would be the best route), only then can we become compassionate with ourselves. When we are kind to ourselves, then we can be kind to other people. Our empathy can then be a magnet for fellow empathetic persons and the chances of getting a win-win situation when sharing our stories are high.

on feminism

L'Etoile by Egar Degas

Since this morning I began to ponder on "The personal is political," which can be considered as the catchphrase of the feminist movement. I thought that my current break time was opportune to let my brain pass gas (lol). Feminism can be expressed and advocated in various ways--through one's lifestyle or through blatant protest.  My interpretation of feminism is precisely "the personal is political." Oftentimes, feminism tends to highlight the double standards that separate men from women. I tend to focus on feminism as the enhancement and celebration of other women apart from myself. 

Let's face it--women are inherently competitive with each other. That is something I've always recognized. My take on feminism is to enhance other women--to be the anti-crab mentality advocate. I read the recent issue of Fashion magazine with Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau on the cover. The issue celebrates feminism and how it can be achieved by uplifting fellow women--espousing "common goodness" as Gregoire-Trudeau stated.  

Women are definitely more hormonal than men--physiologically speaking. And the combination of external environment, personal predicaments, etc. molds the modern day hormonal woman. I know that, because I have PCOS and have a hormonal imbalance. I've always practised "mind over matter" and probably almost mastered a homeostatic emotional state. Like removing my consciousness and laying it outside myself as an objective observer while I make sense of the specimen that is--myself. I know, it's a ridiculous thing to imagine but I find it to be an effective coping mechanism. 

Of course, there are extreme provocations that can cause me to implode/explode (whichever spontaneously occurs) and my husband has been a solid support. I had to ask him again last night what he sees in me and he would just laugh. I now brand him as a feminist...with a weird taste in women. Exhibit A: yours truly.

I also think that a woman who is also a feminist is considerate of everyone. Everyone wants to be valued. Whether it be family, friends, acquaintances, strangers... Manifesting an air of "yes, you matter and I will listen to you" is very empowering. When you value others, you feel a sense of fulfillment. When that happens, you enhance your life. You enhance your womanhood. 

fascinating sophistication

i

Source

I have been enjoying looking at images of old Hollywood style and watching vintage lifestyle videos such as those by Lilly Jarlsson. Apart from the superficial, I think what I find appealing about the early to late 1900s is the culture of propriety and unwritten social protocols. Going back to the superficial, I particularly like the fashion. Especially in the 40s and 50s when there was an over-all air of neatness and attention to detail.  

I still see the essence of vintage glamour in contemporary designers. Being Filipino, I'd like to laud Monique Lhuillier, Amina Aranaz, and my former high school classmate Rosanna Ocampo for creating sophisticated pieces which are timeless. Monique, Amina, and Rosanna have no idea I've posted about them--hah. 

Of course, my day-to-day life requires a sort of utilitarian dress sense. I'm sure many would agree that reading fashion magazines is mostly for entertainment--or maybe getting ideas here and there--whatever fits one's lifestyle.  We do not need to wear clothes that are impractical or expensive. I remember my late mother who was always lauded about her fashion sense. She was a very pragmatic woman and is very thrifty especially since she wasn't from a wealthy upbringing. I suppose it was the way she carried herself--plus the fact that she was just plain beautiful (inside and out). 

So style is both external plus a certain kind of bearing. A grace that would be difficult to manufacture--somewhat borne out of one's experiences. Like my mother who was the proverbial calm duck on the surface but paddled like a beast.   

Success in Failure

Image Source

Today, I was inspired by failure. Excuse the Yoda introduction.

This post's theme began yesterday when I noticed someone's eyeglass frames that immediately reminded me of a pair I own which then later made me think of the bespectacled actors who played part of NASA's ground control crew in Apollo 13.  Apollo 13 has been dubbed NASA's successful failure, because despite its 'almost-landed-on-the-moon' drama due to technical mishaps, the crew returned home alive. 

Yesterday afternoon, I attended a talk by a professor who has been cited thousands (maybe millions) of times because of his work. As expected, he was humble, funny, and stated 'I don't know' with a matching shrug followed by valid musings when he was asked something. He lightly ranted that his first paper was rejected a few times (a paper that led to other papers which then resulted to a cascade of other breakthroughs). 

Other famous persons came to mind (see photo image above).  

I'm fervently hoping that one day, I will look back and appreciate all the times I've been in some kind of 'so near yet so far' situation. While it's tempting to enumerate all those moments in my life-- I won't.  Just so I could avoid sounding obnoxious like 'well, I didn't achieve this because of this or that but look at me now' humble-brag. I shiver and cringe at the thought of being that kind of person.

Of course, I don't aim to fail because I'm certain that there's nowhere else to go but up. What I'm trying to say is that there are character-building benefits related to failure. My very first post about the advantages of not being an overachiever is somewhat related...  

Afterlife

Source

My recent posts may appeal to the secular clique with the endorsement of the "here and now," but I must emphasize that those are not in accordance with the "drink and be merry for tomorrow we die" philosophy.  When I say I'd like to make it a point to make the most out of the present--which just became the past a few seconds ago--I still prefer to maximize each "here and now" moment in a manner that will not cause me to dwell on the past or become anxious of what is to come. 

After that pivotal event of my mother's illness and passing, instead of rebelling against all faith and divinity-related aspects in my life, I've become even more drawn and curious about the spiritual and metaphysical. Clearly, I never really thought that all this effort to live right now and pursue the moral good is for naught. In my gut there is something after all this. Yes, you can say it's heaven, eternal life, the resurrection. 

I was convent school-trained. My family and extended family are religious--in spite of differences in organized religion membership.  

There is something after all this.

I remember a poem that we were required to read in university that mentioned something about how God reveals the Truth little by little like salt (to taste). It wasn't because God is playing some kind of twisted game with a definite ending much like that movie Adjustment Bureau (but Matt Damon and Emily Blunt did control their own fate at the end of that movie), but that we humans are not ready to understand the Truth. Like when St. Augustine admitted that complete human comprehension of the Holy Trinity is like putting the entire ocean in a hole you dug from the sand.  

I was at mass at St. Michael's Cathedral this morning and the homily was fantastic. Before you click that "x" button on the upper right corner of your browser---indulge me. It was about how leaders during the time of Christ, wanted to clarify the resurrection (more of test and trap Our Lord, as was the theme)... how a woman lost a husband and that 6 of her late husband's brothers married her after each died one after the other. She never had children. And so the question was that in heaven, whose wife would she be? And Christ says that in the resurrection, we attain the pinnacle of our existence and that the earthly relations no longer apply--we are all children of God. The intimacy we experience in our mortal lives is superseded by a divine intimacy. The happiest state imaginable. 

It is unimaginable right? What is proof if this afterlife, after all? The priest simply uses Christ as proof.

I'm not convincing non-believers to believe. Belief, in my opinion, is a choice. One chooses to believe. When one has made a choice, no amount of convincing will change that belief.  Now I'm very critical of myself. I have always wanted to believe--and that is why I've been trying my best to educate myself. I have once stated (and perhaps I may have read/heard this someplace) that doubt is not the opposite of faith---it is essential to faith. 

Going back to Christ--I've often wondered why Christ had to be both man and God. Why not implement His divine abilities during the times He was being put down. It's like you want to root for Him, but why is the story line's script written that way? Simply put, we are the audience. Everything is about educating us. The basic question of "how do I live?" ---> Imitate Christ. Metaphorically of course; not in the rabid fanatical flog yourself or make people crucify you on a cross. Before I elaborate on the imitation of Christ...again, why did He have to be both man and God?

I remember one doctrine class I attended and the very charismatic and funny priest said that he would answer the question of Christ's dual nature by saying "I don't know, I'm not God." After which the priest said something like "well, man committed the greatest disobedience (Adam and Eve + ate the fruit of knowledge because the serpent convinced them that it would make them all knowing as in God) and this credit can only be settled by another man = Christ.  However, debt with  God as the creditor can never be settled fully by just a man so Christ had to be divine as well. I suppose it's oversimplified, but it did make me nod my head and scratch my chin.

So how to imitate Christ, eh? It's the proverbial (and book title) "the road less traveled." Golden Rule. Love. Do wrong to none. Do ordinary things extraordinarily well. Arm yourself with the sacraments. Acts of piety. Pray. Be inclusive. Be like Christ...He hung out with the tax collectors, prostitutes, beggars, fishermen, sinners. The road to holiness is to live a life that will make people wonder...what is it with this person? Why is this person still happy in spite of *insert whatever applicable predicament*? Why is this person motivated? 

We don't have to proselytize like those gifted people who can do that. We aren't all called to the religious life right? Some of us--most of us are ordinary. St. Josemaria Escriva (the saint of ordinary life) espoused using our work as our way to holiness. Be punctual, be diligent, be respectful, do not be judgmental, aspire for humility, have self-mastery...doable little things. No bells and whistles or overt acts of self-righteousness. 

And that is how I aim to maximize the "here and now." 

----------------------------

*Postscript: St. Josemaria's emphasis on work isn't just referring to the common job but actually one's vocation: parent, spouse, student, politician, volunteer, etc.