Strange algorithm

It's Sunday evening and last night, when I was passing the time on the internet, the algorithm invited me to two ghost-themed topics: the film Ghosted and the Appalachian Mountains. I saw the film Ghosted when it was released about 3 years ago and enjoyed it very much. The plot was absolutely outrageous and hilarious and I enjoyed all the little symbolic details and dialogue. I forgot which short reel I clicked on IG, which likely prompted the algorithm to show me similar videos. Interestingly, the algorithm also showed a couple of videos about eerie things or things that one should not do when one is on the Appalachian Mountains. I'm easily scared about things like that, but like a moth to a flame, I kept on watching related spooky videos until I got really sleepy. Luckily, I didn't have a bad dream. But I did have a dream. Like most dreams, I've forgotten the majority of it, but that it was a long dream and involved characters and conversation. I'll end with the Psychedelic Furs: "Inside you the time moves and she don't fade."

Predispositions

A new year is here! Did the holidays involve some disruption by seasonal viruses and unpleasant weather? I'm sorry if that's the case.

I borrowed this book by Dr. Michael Mosley entitled "Fast Asleep" and was reminded about the importance of sleep. Especially the part of our cycle involving deep sleep where our brain receives an increased amount of cerebrospinal fluid as a sort of deep cleaning routine. The system in-charge is called the glymphatic system and it helps rid our brains of wastes and protein deposits, including those associated with Alzheimer's disease. I think on average, I have had enough sleep in my life. I have never really truly pulled an all-nighter because I'm physically incapable of doing so. I need to sleep. In fact and unfortunately, there have been occasions of low self-discipline and I have napped in the late afternoon for more than half an hour and those occasions normally lead to either disturbing dreams or sleep paralysis. 

I got a smart speaker for our bedroom and now I've been listening to airplane cabin sounds and would reduce the brightness of the bedroom light to induce sleepiness. This has been very effective for the past few weeks this new year. I will surely continue the habit, because I end up waking up earlier than the average time last year and have more energy during the day. I've also taken some brief walks in the morning and after lunch, which is synergistic to this rekindling of my love for a good night's sleep.  I always thought that I was a morning person, or a 'lark' as Dr. Mosley labels it. Based on my DNA test results that I just received today, I'm a night person. I'm curious about what genes determine that trait. 

Also, the expected revelation is that I'm overwhelmingly Filipino with trace amounts of Korean and Iberian Spanish. I opted to have my sample discarded and not used for research--and no family tree or connections. Because the Philippines is an archipelago, physical traits are immensely diverse. Centuries of colonial rule and trading with adjacent nations have surely made Filipinos admixed. It can be confusing for non-Filipinos and it's common for Filipinos to be mistaken for other nationalities...until they start inviting folks to karaoke and to help themselves with lumpia. I have been mistaken for being other East Asian nationalities and I remember a conference where I was mistaken for a Mexican. Well, the Philippines and Mexico were under Spanish colonial rule at the same time for centuries. I suppose it could make sense. Except, I can freely say that I enjoy puto (a sweet and delicious steamed rice muffin), best enjoyed with butter or cheese and a cup of traditional tsokolate hot chocolate. I leave the internet sleuthing about it to you.

Sleep, DNA, food. What a strange post. 

It's "The Holiday" Season

If you haven't seen the film "The Holiday", I urge you to watch it if you're inclined to see a classic feel-good holiday romantic comedy. It has lovely story lines and the soundtrack is fantastic! I decided to write this post after finding out that one of the scores I enjoyed the most in the film (embedded above, specifically at 1:40-1:53) was by Hans Zimmer (Interstellar). In fact, Mr. Zimmer composed most of the tracks in the soundtrack--and I realized that he's really good at composing melodies that tug the heartstrings. My husband loves this film and we've wept (happy-cried) uninhibitedly during the times we've seen it. It's as re-watchable as "Love Actually", "Notting Hill", "You've Got Mail", or "Kate and Leopold" (among other nice classic romantic comedies). Jude Law and Cameron Diaz were absolutely adorable in the film. Jack Black's character was very likeable (crush-able 😄) and Kate Winslet was so cute and relatable (I love the way she was styled in the film). Here's another score from the film, which was perfectly titled to accompany the story line of the characters Iris (Kate Winslet) and Jasper (Rufus Sewell)--a mixture of unrequited love and heartbreak (I like 0:43-0:57 and sorry for the spoiler).

To conclude this post, here's a nice snapshot of the changing hues of autumn vegetation...

 

Colder and warmer

Happy Thanksgiving--Wishing you a nice holiday or regular day, whichever applies. Spreading comfort and coziness...☕️🫖📚📖

In my mind's eye

I would like to report that I've been listening to holiday music already, particularly instrumental playlists in the morning and also while driving. Many years ago, I had a case of CDs in the car including mixed CDs of songs that were "burned" from either a computer repository or purchased from shops that sold mixed CDs. I used to be able to listen to louder and faster paced music while driving, despite chaotic traffic conditions. Aging has compelled me to dedicate focused attention and awareness. I think I can see better when it's calmer inside the vehicle, which is why I've become accustomed to cozy instrumental music. I can say that my poor eyesight is compensated by full auditory attention. These are realizations that make me feel insecure. I heard someone speak about feeling small when thinking about others who are better than one's self. I think people who have great eyesight and don't need readers are really lucky...and people who are over five feet and three inches tall...and confident public speakers. But as Max Ehrman's "Desiderata" goes, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

Going back to instrumental music and calmer environments, I thought to spend my free daily ChatGPt allotment for image generation by projecting what was on my mind (where I'd like to be) this Friday evening. The first image was from my initial prompt and the second was after a follow-up prompt to enhance the image. Clearly, these are AI generated because on the second image, the turntable is away from the rest of the record player. Also, there are ambiguous knick knacks on both images upon closer inspection. What's clear and explicitly part of my prompts is a steaming mug of hot chocolate that I would like to virtually raise: here's to the weekend, cheers.

Both images were generated by AI

Increased vertical distance

 

One Thursday afternoon about 2-ish. What a view. How about yourself? Things okay? Yeah? I'm pleased to say the same thus far. I took advantage of this view from a room where I had a meeting. I appreciated how different the buildings look like when viewed from the top. I'm usually one of those ant-looking folks you can see from the building reflections below and the perspective at that vantage point is obviously different. I also realized that there are risks when one is constantly exposed to this kind of view, because the usual details of life on the ground get pixelated and blurred. The sounds become muffled and muted until one becomes indifferent. Being blissfully ignorant all the time isn't ideal, isn't it?

string telephone (updated)

I had an interesting, wholesome, and cute dream involving music. As I write this in the evening, I cannot recall the details of said dream, but remember a smirk. I just know that when I woke up this morning, I knew that I was going to be in a good mood the whole day. I was scrolling through social media and saw a music-related post that elated me. You know how certain things just coincide serendipitously and even though there’s a huge part of your brain that says that it’s likely random, there’s still a small part of you that believes in something cosmic. Like how a stringed instrument’s strings are physically oriented in parallel manner yet once played, the soundwaves facilitate some form of interconnectedness and interaction between the parallel-oriented strings. Amazing realization. Enjoyable epiphany.

Update: whoever was in charge of curating Spotify’s Fireside Christmas Jazz playlist just knows https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DWZy48MuOV69W?si=i0qIQqtNT-Wo9YgE2JHgwQ

Brisk

 I am writing this while on the sofa right after preparing my 4th warm drink for today—a cup of chocolatey peppermint herbal tea by a local brand called President’s Choice. It’s 10 degrees Celsius and we haven’t turned on the heating, because it’s still a comfortable kind of cold. The home-related mishap that I wrote about previously is now fully repaired and there were other minor home improvements made. Aside from that, there were other good news around achievements within our family and so we’ve celebrated those. I am happy to say that at this moment, I feel calm and contented. It is partly due to the weather and the natural seasonal colours outside…and partly due to my faith (work in progress) and trust in God. I’ve gone through periods of spiritual highs, lukewarm-ness, and lows—I’m thankful that I’m still being pulled towards this desire to achieve the fullness of life. With the unfortunate and heart wrenching events happening in other parts of the world, prayer and supplication for peace is crucial. In relation to prayer, I curated a personal playlist that I’ve been listening to while praying in the evening:  https://spotify.link/oL0ln9vzVDb. I randomly chose tracks from Spotify’s Peaceful Meditation playlist to create this.

—

Yesterday at the supermarket, I saw a box of tea labeled “Stress Soother” and grabbed it. It’s autumn-appropriate because it contains cinnamon and I tried it in the evening as a nightcap, while burning a favourite candle. I burned the candle after cooking—highly recommended practice when using a bunch of aromatic stuff.

—

In case no one has told you yet, I understand that you have worries. I will not deprecate your hurdles by saying that everyone is going through some form of hardship. Even though the next person is also going through trials, that doesn’t mean that there exists some measuring stick of tribulations. It is unwise to find comfort in convincing ourselves that others are in worse circumstances. Anyway, what I’m saying is that I think I heard you through the ether and that you may need an echo reply. Imagined or real, I know I would appreciate any kind of moral support.

—

I will close this with a super mega happy thing that I got: a $3 reusable bag from the public library. For some time now, I’ve been seeing people around town carrying a canvas bag with the Toronto Public Library Logo. I wanted one, because I thought it was cool. I wanted to be the cool local who had the canvas bag—implying that I was a regular library patron. Superficial, eh? Well, no matter what anyone thinks, I am sooo happy I saw this. I’ve been asking libraries for it and they would always say that they’ve run out. This version is different because it’s black—the ones I see were the usual beige canvas bag with a blue logo. And clearly, this photo I took is some form of “flex” (as the kids these days say) because we recently organized our bookcase. This really made me happy.

concerts [with update notes]

[Update note: This post jumps from one topic to the next like a series of multicolored life saver candies linked together by a very fine thread (music).]

—

Today’s Sunday mass was presided by a guest priest who was in town on the way to his post as a military chaplain. The impetus for this blogpost is the priests’s homily…not about his guided reflection of the gospel, but that he talked about Paul McCartney. How at over 80 years old, Paul McCartney is still on tour and fills massive arenas. Talk about aging gracefully and being a living legend. I’ve talked about him and the Beatles a couple of times on this almost 2-decade blog. I was a Beatlemaniac when I was younger, because of a TV channel that played Beatles music videos without commercials the summer before I entered 5th grade. I asked for a guitar that year and bought those song hits magazines with chord charts at the back. I wrote a letter to Paul McCartney when he was knighted in 1997 and asked my parents to mail it to him when we were in Los Angeles for a family reunion. I thought that mailing it from North America will likely reach Sir Paul as opposed to mailing it from Manila. Not sure if it went through, because I didn’t get a response. I rented laser discs of all the Beatles films and the movie ‘Give My Regards to Broadstreet’. It was a phase. Unfortunately, I outgrew my Beatles fixation as it slowly dissipated when I entered high school. But I was still into music and explored a variety of genres including classical—attributable to my piano lessons and annual recitals. I was in an all-girl alternative rock band in high school where I played a loaned electric guitar and sang back up vocals. We covered the Cranberries, Gin Blossoms, 10,000 maniacs… My husband was also in a rock band in his all-boys high school where he played bass. That loaned electric guitar I mentioned earlier? It was his older brother’s (now my brother in-law). We all met at a youth group when we were teenagers. What a segue, eh? And what a time to be a teenager in the eary 90s when it was hip to be in a band.

Interestingly, despite this whole 90s band fixation, I wasn’t a concert-goer. I suppose it was because I wasn’t aware of schedules—that and I didn’t want to ask my parents for money to get tickets. They won’t let me out late at night anyway, so why even attempt to ask? Hehe. 

When I started working, I had the fortunate opportunity to meet colleagues (from two different periods of my career) who were professional musicians. Our day jobs were far from music, but having coworkers who had musical alter egos is a gift. Music is this amazing feature that’s inherently human. The recognition of music and the ability to create it makes us distinct from other fellow large-brained animals. Anyway, I had the pleasure of seeing these former coworkers perform live during the times we were connected to our respective places of employment. Then this new interest in concerts came about. John Mayer in 2019, Tom Misch in 2022, and 5 Seconds of Summer/5SOS this year (because my daughter found out that 5SOS was going to be in town early this year and I thought it would be a good core memory for her to be allowed to attend with yours truly and her father…apparently, other parents had the same idea). 

I should see Paul McCartney perform live. Fingers crossed that he tours here. I’ll likely see John Mayer and Tom Misch again, that’s for sure. I don’t know all the lyrics to their music verbatim, but rest assured I’d be bobbing my head, awkwardly dancing, waving my phone flashlight, jumping up and down, or singing along to some songs. I’d likely buy merch. 

As I write this post while watching Dave Grohl perform Everlong on YouTube (video), I’m amazed by how the algorithms are designed to hook you for the next couple of minutes…or hours after that initial video. Like my Spotify and the smart shuffle feature. Great way to discover music and artists. How about I end this post with Allen Stone’s Consider me (video), that I’m watching after Dave Grohl…it just dawned on me that the girl in the video is the actress who played Cinderella in Once Upon a Time (still binge watching…season 4 now). 

Feeling great after writing this post. :) Thanks for indulging me. Sincerely, Anna from the 6ix who writes code to do applied numbers stuff. Whoah, rolling the dice, aren’t we? [Update note 2: this last paragraph doesn’t have a purposeful connection with the rest of the words above…clearly meant to pique an imaginary audience’s imaginary interest.]

”in the space of your own”

Passing the time at a Starbucks and listening to a Tom Misch playlist (current song is “Follow”, which includes a verse where this post’s title is from). I even attempted to write some random words in a little notebook that I keep in my purse for when I need to jot something down. This current situation is not purposeful. Another one of my attempts to capture an ordinary moment. Well, there is a purpose…to pass the time. I have been toiling and decided to take a much deserved break. 

Also, I wanted to celebrate this boundary that I’ve recently been able to establish. No work-related mental and physical activity outside work hours. Like emails, for example. And I think I’ve successfully established this boundary with others. There is one other boundary that I need to establish with myself: the reduction in reading of references like the nice-to-know material outside work hours. It is easier to establish a boundary when it comes to tangible aspects of our occupations. Enter-leave a building, boot up-shut down a machine, but think-unthink in the brain…challenging, especially in times of fixation about some project.

Car life folks and code copy-pasters

The online algorithms are so random that I recently found myself watching a lot of car/van life and camping videos (again). Around the time when we were all at home trying not to get covid (deliberate non-capitalization to express my repulsion), I started watching folks who go on survival camping trips. It’s a great way to examine and imagine life without materialistic comforts. I recently read a stranger’s post about the declining condition of our planet and how so many aspects are irreversible (like climate change). Really difficult not to think of the ‘what ifs’ and to consider some form of preparation for extreme calamities. It’s self-inflicted stress, in a way. There was a brief time also during the pandemic when I began watching clips of a specific type of ASMR on soap cutting to counteract the ‘the end is nigh’ feelings when thinking of apocalyptic possibilities. The soap cutting videos were bizarre, satisfying, and relaxing enough to lull someone to go to sleep. Not a good way to end a day, eh? It was a very brief fixation. 

—

I have a GitHub account that I created years ago so that I could share some programming code for a brown bag session during my grad school training. I recently used it to collaborate and develop some useful statistical programming functions based on textbook formulas. The goal is to streamline certain work-related things. I’m not active on that platform and really just keep it alive so I can pull-edit-push code. There are a substantial amount of code that I use everyday, and there are a few functions that I still need to copy-paste from old projects. I’m a code copy-paster. Hehe. Interestingly, I tried Microsoft’s Bing AI…which is also GPT based. I tried it out of curiosity and there was a professional thing that necessitated me to at least have an idea how it goes. I asked Bing to write me code for a particular task. It was essentially the same as searching on a web browser except that the response isn’t a list of search results, but a synthetic conversational response from a chat bot. Like a written version of what Google or Siri or Alexa would say. That’s my observation. Most of us online consumers see the front-end side of things. When I wear my ‘work hat’, I usually see the data side of things in the back-end whether in flat text or spreadsheet format so it is helpful for me to have an idea how the front-end looks like. That way, I can present my analysis in a format that makes sense to those who only see the front-end. You know what I mean? Anyway, there are many occasions when I feel exhausted at the end of a work day even if I barely moved my skeletal muscles, because this type of effort drains the brain.

—

On the topic of algorithms…I’m not amused with the amount of noise and junk that is being peddled to me. I have been actively clicking on the options that will allow me to train my news source apps (hopefully) so that useless information disappears. I’ve mentioned before that the currency of today includes attention. If content is unnecessary and suspiciously packaged so that a consumer (like me) will tend to give it attention or engagement—ayayay, no thanks. My time and attention are so valuable that I have to be very careful. I urge you to protect your time and attention too. It’s a messy and nasty cyber world out there. Let’s prioritize our immediate physical reality. Unfortunately, there are groups and institutions that thrive on negativity, chaos, and by making people feel miserable or inadequate (e.g., so that a person ends up purchasing some obscure overpriced knick-knack). Like Rumplestiltskin in the earlier seasons of Once Upon a Time (which we are binge watching), who finds opportunities when people are in desperate predicaments. Also related to monstrous evil, we just finished the latest season of Good Omens, which isn’t part of the Neil Gaiman book, but is an entertaining and twisted way to think about Good and Evil, Right and Wrong, morality and immortality. Brilliant shows worth the attention—my attention, surely.

Schrodinger-ing

Increased online anonymity. I’ve been trying to do this recently while maintaining a digital footprint as minimum verification of my existence. I recently learned that what is available about you online can be utilized as a trap. Imagine this scenario: you receive communication from a legit individual that an unnamed entity has name dropped you as a good fit for some adventure. You know it’s legit, because it is a legit project. The communication seems flattering on the surface, but it’s not through proper channels. So you thank them for the message and direct them to the standard ‘aboveboard’ procedure, which they decline to go through. Like Ultron sending you a text message saying that you were recommended to be included in the roster of folks who will be deployed in the next SpaceX mission to the ISS, because some unnamed person mentioned to him that you are an expert in docking. You’ve never docked a spacecraft before and then you remember writing a general interest article about your fascination about docking simulators. And you also remember that a similar tactic was done to you by someone with whom you experienced toxic business with (let’s say Count Dracula) who once copy-pasted your details from online and messaged you saying that they have a deadline the next day and needed you to sign off as part of a new Sokovian project that you only found out about at that moment and that they already prepped your profile and everything (the stars collided in your favour and you got out of it). Now you put two and two together: Supervillain and Vampire. Wow. If this were a film, I guess you’d be a character that gets thrust into an unfortunate situation. I think that’s a naughty way to operate, eh? Habitually twist someone’s arm? If you were close friends or if you’ve had a long-standing professional relationship, that may be acceptable. Otherwise, it’s not palatable. You can look at it in the light of, perhaps, an opportunity for growth. Who wouldn’t want to go to Space? Sure, that’s a valid point to consider. But being attached to strings connected to Ultron and Count Dracula? That may be a quick choice for some and not for others. Consider this an exercise in personal ethics.

I’ll see you in September…

 …when summer is gone. Have a good time but remember, come back to me when summer is gone. 🎶

Fall, you are inevitable. See you soon. Thank you, Summer—it was truly fun this year. xoxo

constricted

Current sentiment. The gatekeeping is perpetual, and when brought forward, gaslighting follows. A never-ending process; by rote. It’s probably pointless to further pursue. Will never win. What a hopeless endeavour and trap.

Belated #InternationalCakeDay and what's the weather?

 

Photo by Antonio Quagliata

Update: I felt the need to preface this post by mentioning that I needed to write something light after the previous post which was one of the usual bouts of intense musings I engage in when properly triggered. Really urge you to check out that cake hashtag online. Food for the eyes.

/**/

I randomly (and happily) learned on Twitter yesterday that it was International Cake Day  What a great timeline cleanse in between current affairs and global news headlines. How many people still have physical newspaper subscriptions...I mean personal newspaper subscriptions? We could expect businesses or office lobbies to still have the daily paper on their side tables, but it is the reality that the majority of those living in areas with internet access obtain their news online. A little fun fact, we still get the gist of our daily news in the morning through: "Hey Google, play 680 news"...to which Miss Google responds "Streaming CityNews 680 on TuneIn." I'm personally interested in the weather forecast. It helps with planning one's day and is a good conversation starter or ending. I ought to make a blogpost sandwich by posting another attribution-free image of a cake. It's really warm here and so a virtual iced coffee and cake would be appropriate (and healthier)...

Photo by Ekrulila

 

Springter

https://pixabay.com/users/natashag-363234/

 

Friends, we have double-digit positive in the Celsius scale today and that warrants a positive and rambling blogpost! Suffice to say that it has been a bustling past few weeks and I extend my utmost gratitude to the whole cast and crew of my central nervous system. The stars of the show are still hard at work as we cyber converse. I had to take a Tylenol this morning--that's the only negative thing we will input in this post--just to add a little balance. Oh, and we now have a new household resident: our Keurig K-Express, just a few days old. Who else tends to fixate on non-essential items to distract their busy schedules? I personally tend to generate a list of items or aspirations in my mind so that I can think about these items or aspirations when I'm about to sleep or when I'm alone doing mundane non-verbal day-to-day activities. We're a thinking species. We think when we're laser-focused on a task, we think when we're eating, we think even during the occasions when we think we're not actually thinking. It's like breathing. Hah! I made you conscious about your breathing. This blogpost is a tangible version of what I'm thinking this very moment. Well, what do you know, the concept became concrete.

Fall has fallen and it’s wonderful

Quite the chilly Saturday morning isn’t it? One of my favourite moments is early morning breakfast on a cold morning. Background sounds could be the news or whirring appliances or maybe if the mood kicks in, some relaxing instrumental music. I’ve seen and enjoyed YouTube videos of fireplace sounds with coffee shop or holiday music and I found this video. Apparently, it’s one of the better ones in its genre based on the top commenter who stated “The only one I’ve heard that don’t sound like kfc tryna fry some chicken.” There you go.

 

A streetcar named *insert car name* westbound

 

Point A. Point B. 

Designated starts and stops provide a sense of structure and a semblance of control.

Nineties flashback and music

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

A long time ago during the mid-to-late 90s, it was an "in" thing to be in a band...and join battles of the bands or perform in high school variety shows or rent a cheap recording studio so your amateur band could create demos of covers. If your parents were the cool type, they would give you your own beeper (a.k.a. pager). One would own loads of stationery (scented or made from recycled paper) and different coloured gel pens so you could write notes and pass them during class (preferably in between classes). After periodical exams, you and your friends would go to the nearest arcade and have your sticker photos taken. You would go to the school/office supplies store and shop for pens and more stationery. You owned a boom box and lots of blank cassette tapes or "burnable" CDs...made mixed records and gave them out as gifts. You had graduation photos printed in multiple "wallet" sized copies so you could write dedications at the back and give them to your closest friends. 

This clouded, hodgepodge, mental trip down memory lane is certainly grammatically criminal. So in the spirit of rogue English syntax, I abruptly shift from the second person to the first person then third person...

I would very much like to possess an electric guitar, amplifier, and those special effects pedals that I have never tried in my life. Maybe pretend to be the late Dolores O'Riordan and sing "Linger" with an Irish accent. I'll just entertain the thought and wait for as long as I can until this fixation fades away. Or not. We'll see. One should probably give attention to things or tools that are available...such as the instruments one (I) currently own(s). There are many other important bullet items on the list of what Needs to be done as opposed to what one Wants to do.  

 

Nakakapagod, exhausting

 

I know, Homo sapiens is an exhausting species. My apologies. Give my regards to the rest of our fellow primates...and other living creatures, for that matter. Sorry for all this hassle. xo