The Fade Warm filter is on

Source: Wikimedia Commons – Toronto Air Quality during 2026 wildfires

I'd much rather the sky looked like it had an Instagram Fade Warm filter. Instead, it's wildfire smoke. Thinking of everyone affected by this.

The air isn't as orange today, but the smoke smells even stronger. Many of us were wearing masks while walking outside on the way to our destinations.

As I take a brief coffee break at the cafe in this academic library, I'm reminded of how this pale blue dot we call home is a remarkably fragile spaceship. And we all breathe the same air.

Autoreplies are on

I'm on vacation in the next few days, but I woke up too early this morning. It's still way too early to do anything at this lakeside location, so I've decided that I will take a morning siesta about 2 hours post-dawn breakfast since everyone's still asleep anyway. I could take a walk by the lake, but why spend this energy now when I can go all out later? So here I am, writing on my old, home button-equipped mobile phone, with my eyes progressively becoming heavy. The point of this post is to encourage you to listen to your body. If you ever feel guilty for resting, turn that imaginary volume control knob to the lowest setting and maybe turn it all the way until you hear that click signifying it's off. Close your eyes and drift to dreamland...or as I prefer it, no-dreamland-REM-deep-sleep-cycling nirvana. Here's REM's Daysleeper for inspiration: https://youtu.be/uUcKeKt8C1k?si=pssmq_yWav8EwvAn

Antilibrary

I just checked out two books from Robarts Library for leisure. I hope I end up liking and finishing at least one of them. Currently, as I write these words, I have a Margaret Atwood book open in my Kindle app, and a browser tab containing Pope Leo XIV's first encyclical, "On Safeguarding the Human Person in the Time of Artificial Intelligence." I have Monday off, so this qualifies as a form of hoarding...of reading intentions. Honestly, I have a lot of chores and other things to do so realistically, I won't be able to finish any of them this weekend. I enjoy having these physical and virtual books around me, and I'll enjoy the feeling of the possibility of reading.

A fun fact is that a collection of books that one possesses is termed an antilibrary, which was popularized by the writer (and fellow statistician) Nassim Nicholas Taleb (Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antilibrary). Taleb further states that the those who are interested in antilibraries can be referred to as antischolars.

The Bar is now Sky High

I've allowed myself to be algorithmically persuaded. How can one not find Mary Bennet and Tom Hayward charming (from the series entitled The Other Bennet Sister)? The fourth episode is probably my favourite, with a particular scene involving Wordsworth's Composed Upon Westminster Bridge. A version of this poem was recited by Jonathan Pryce below.

A good reference article to read that nicely explains the relevance of the scene in the series can be found here https://theconversation.com/the-other-bennet-sister-this-fresh-take-on-pride-and-prejudice-transforms-the-overlooked-mary-278555

Strange algorithm

It's Sunday evening and last night, when I was passing the time on the internet, the algorithm invited me to two ghost-themed topics: the film Ghosted and the Appalachian Mountains. I saw the film Ghosted when it was released about 3 years ago and enjoyed it very much. The plot was absolutely outrageous and hilarious and I enjoyed all the little symbolic details and dialogue. I forgot which short reel I clicked on IG, which likely prompted the algorithm to show me similar videos. Interestingly, the algorithm also showed a couple of videos about eerie things or things that one should not do when one is on the Appalachian Mountains. I'm easily scared about things like that, but like a moth to a flame, I kept on watching related spooky videos until I got really sleepy. Luckily, I didn't have a bad dream. But I did have a dream. Like most dreams, I've forgotten the majority of it, but that it was a long dream and involved characters and conversation. I'll end with the Psychedelic Furs: "Inside you the time moves and she don't fade."

Head over heels for power outlets

 
Entrance to Emmanuel College Library, University of Toronto

     I took the photo above a few days ago when I went to that location. My workload during this part of the year is unusually full and I became slightly ill during the latter part of this week, and thanks to loads of warm drinks including commercial and my own versions of honey citrus mint tea, I recovered quickly. 
     Going back to Emmanuel College Library, I saw it featured by a girl named Bela in her video on libraries [YouTube video link]. I have to say I go to all of those libraries she featured in that video with the second one being my ultimate go-to. I only recently found out from an Instagram post by the handle historyhypegirl [link to that post I saw] that this library is where Tears for Fears filmed their Head over Heels music video. I thought that it was such a fun fact. My only gripe about this library is that there aren't a lot of power outlets where the desks are. I have to remind myself that when these libraries were built, people didn't use electronic devices so I understand that. But still, you know where I'm coming from right? Or maybe I've gotten used to having a dedicated power outlet for a library carrel or desk, including desks that have USB-A and USB-C options. I've become entitled in that regard. 
     On a semi-related topic, whenever I park myself at a library desk, I frequently get asked by girls adjacent to me if I could look after their laptop and things if they need to go to the washroom or get snacks. I feel flattered, like as if I'm this nurturing presence that can be trusted to protect one's things.
     I'll end this post with the original Tears for Fears music video of Head over heels and a fun parody that I found online. Cheers...Tears for Fears!

Between the Buttery and the Owlery

 

(File:An Arch leading to Sir Daniel Wilson Residence, University of Toronto.jpg. (2023, August 8). Wikimedia Commons. Retrieved March 17, 2026, from https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:An_Arch_leading_to_Sir_Daniel_Wilson_Residence,_University_of_Toronto.jpg&oldid=791096022.)

Let me tell you about this mostly unremarkable situation involving my library access. My access expired last month and I applied for renewal through my workplace. I had extended privileges last year, which included being able to borrow physical books and enter card-only locations within campus. I couldn't have it again this time so I decided to purchase an alumni membership that allowed me to enjoy the physical access, without the benefit of any type of remote access. That is, my patron category can only allow access to resources in the online collection through computer stations on-site. I happily purchased it and it cost less than the latest edition of Gray's Anatomy, and that justification was enough for me.

Work has been full in a good way, and I think a lot of that comes from having access to the latest library resources. I've been using two LLMs to efficiently find the latest and most appropriate textbooks and articles, like high-tech, high-speed card catalogs. Ultimately, the efficiency of LLMs is dependent on prompt construction. Either one can be wrong, so I try to do some quality assurance and ask something that I know the answer to and then prompt both. Or I make them compete. Again, the goal is to use LLMs for efficiency or to reduce time spent on certain tasks, but still be the captain of our brains and trains of thought. 

So, what's up with the blogpost title? This past month, in the midst of this library access situation, I decided to explore eating spots after googling alternative places to get a coffee and a pastry. The Buttery and the Owlery sound quaint and archaic like they were located in the fictional villages of Hogsmeade or Bree, yet they offer standard cafeteria fare. To make the connection between the two, if I were to visit the Buttery then go to the Owlery on foot via main streets, I would pass by the archway pictured above. A couple of days ago, when it snowed real hard, I went through that archway in that exact perspective and on the other side was a breathtaking image of trees and benches veiled in snow. I remember inhaling sharply and shaking my head. It was unbelievably beautiful.

And there you have it, my small, ordinary story.

Sleep lessons

Image by Ri Butov from Pixabay

I’m reading Fast Asleep by Dr. Michael Mosley, and the “Challenging Your Thoughts” section on page 100 resonated with me. Like many others, I have thoughts that surface before I go to bed (or throughout the day), and these affect my sleep. Dr. Mosley suggests a bit of cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT, which I've actually gone through when I had therapy years ago. The author suggests that we challenge the thoughts that run through our minds. For example, if my current thought is on worrying about sleeping late and its implications the next day, I can challenge that thought by telling myself that I will eventually go to sleep like I always do, and it's going to be fine. Dr. Mosley further suggests that these forms of negative thinking are long-term patterns and if one needed to do it effectively, a professional therapist could be consulted. 

Last night, I wasn't worried nor did I have any difficulty sleeping. In fact, on the couch while watching a YouTube video of an orchestra with my family, my eyes started to become very heavy, and I went to bed shortly after. I don't attribute the sleepiness to the video, but the stressors last week that bled to the early part of this week. These unchallenged stressors became mental overload. I need to consciously challenge any unnecessary ideas that would result in physical exhaustion. After weathering that storm and clearing the major items from my mind, my body seemed to say, “Alright, she’s not in crisis mode anymore--time to repair and recharge.” I’m writing now as part of that maintenance process--and also because I had a vivid dream last night about an artist I admire who, while walking away, glanced back and said something poignant to me. So, thanks for the feedback loop, subconscious, I'm hanging up the phone now. To end this post, I'm sharing these nostalgic songs--the first one I heard at a Home Depot last weekend, and the other a reminder of my younger years and that the great indoors could be one's mind.

Continue to give myself permission

I've been writing for myself for approximately 30 years, which is equivalent to two-thirds of my life. That includes diaries and this medium here. I recently joined a mailing list of an academic centre focused on humanistic inquiry (they offer degree programs in philosophy, theology, and the like) that also features a variety of short workshops. They have an upcoming half-day workshop on writing as spiritual practice and I've been thinking about registering. I had the impression that it may simply be a space that gives me permission to write freely and without critique. I've been doing that already, so I'm trying to understand where my knee-jerk interest comes from. Was it that I want to write with others and be prompted externally? There is a cost, which is reasonable, given the expert facilitators. There is hesitation, so I guess, I won't register. I could just continue to give myself permission to pause and write. I've mentioned the benefit of blogspot before in terms of longevity, because I currently still have within reach only three diaries out of maybe four or five that I know I've written on. The chronology is already broken across those paper journals so I can forget about wanting to review and learn from my past thinking tendencies. I may have downloaded up to a certain point of this electronic journal, but I have to remember where I saved it. So, for now, this is the most accessible way for me to capture real-time train of thought. To my future self: carry on.

Further self-examination

I just saw a short clip of Amy Poehler and Claire Danes where they mentioned that they have the same enneagram: 8. So I became curious and tried to find out mine: 5. Last week, I determined my dominant female archetype(s): a tie across lover, creator, and mystic. I already knew since years ago that my personality is INFJ. So, I then took the short form of the Big Five IPIP test which is scientifically validated. The comprehensive report can be summarized as extroversion=low, agreeableness=average, conscientiousness=high, neuroticism=average, openness to experience=high. I fed all this information to a chatbot that also stated that I'm strongly melancholic-phlegmatic in temperament. Furthermore, aforementioned chatbot provided the following summary: introverted by energy (not shy), high in inner structure and responsibility, emotionally deep but contained, ethical not sentimental, creative inwardly cautious outwardly, anxious in anticipation calm in action. That I favor preparation over participation, understanding over exposure, control over momentum. I'm studying this as an iteration of a self-analysis based on additional data. There are consistencies...objectively. Subjectively, I have doubts or maybe I disagree?  

I tried to continue a diary, where my last entry was in 2010. I browsed some pages and was certain that I was a completely different person then. In fact, one entry that involved 3 pages was so bad and unnecessary, I tore it to pieces and dumped it in the garbage. It was an unhelpful entry that nobody else, not even myself, should read nor recall. That's an example in which I'm not sentimental. Our prime minister recently stated in a very important speech that nostalgia is not strategy. Further, chatbot proposed that my internal rule is "If it's complete, it doesn't need to be preserved." That it's not cold, it's clean. Hmm, I don't know how I feel about that. So I prompted the chatbot, "like a Vulcan, eh?", to which the chatbot disagreed. It then went on a verbose oration that included the following: "Emotion honored, but subordinated...emotional, with logical sovereignty...a Vulcan with a rich inner life." *opens my imaginary Regency period fan, covers the bottom part of my face and starts gently fanning*, well that's the kind of flattering words I like to hear. Well done me and my effective prompts. Hah!