Escaping anxious states and pernicious behaviour

I was happy to have participated in a short meditation practice led by a respected scientist who studies mindfulness and its relationship with resilience and stress.  I realized that aside from pursuing healthy distractions such as light reading or hobbies, through meditation we are able to healthily reboot and have the ability to function normally in spite of sustained high-stress situations. I have been reading short stories from The Mammoth Book of Time Travel Romance (go on, cringe, say "ew"...I do not care *hair flip*) and doing a lot of music-related activities, creative yet practical cooking and baking. I've been rearranging room layouts, doing low-effort cleaning, performing short workouts, and meditating. I like this YouTube channel called Boho Beautiful and have bookmarked an arm workout video and some guided meditation videos. The meditations are on top of my regular prayer time---my prayer time is a time I set aside to be grateful for the little things that happened during the day including things that did not happen that is for the highest good.

Also, I've tried to reduce thinking too much of negative thoughts or wallowing on negative behaviour that I receive. I think this is such a stressful time for everyone; so much so that people become unusually rude or inconsiderate. And this is really because people are laser-focused on themselves and their circumstances. So my recommendation is to avoid letting your energy get robbed. It is useful to think: this time next year, would I look back and consider this essential to my life? Not to say that we should start being emotion-less androids--it's just making sure that we do not willingly subject ourselves to energy vampires. We should try our best to be available to our families and friends during this time of physical isolation and tribulation, yet we have to have enough self-respect not to subject ourselves to being hurt or taken advantage of. I think a good measure of people's characters is how they respond to high stress situations.

So, despite the challenges brought about by what is happening today...heed what Max Ehrman's Desiderata says:

" Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

[I've mentioned Desiderata so many times on this blog--it is one of my most beloved poems. It's my compendium for life. https://annaswhatnots.blogspot.com/search?q=desiderata%27]

drown the vociferous with placidity

I've posted twice about the poem Desiderata--earlier this year and in 2007.  The unfortunate reality is that in spite of one's conscious effort to be objective, calm, and composed in the face of tumult...upheaval...chaos, it is natural to be affected. Tame the tempestuous version of one's self and as in the opening line of Desiderata: "Go placidly amidst the noise and haste." While it is acceptable to nurse one's pride, let us introspect about a Google-able Yoda quote: "..when you look at the dark side, careful you must be...for the dark side looks back." 

Finally, as the managing director of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), Christine Lagarde, once said--"if you respect people...if you have a good worth about yourself...providence will take you."

“Take kindly the counsel of the years”

Today’s title is inspired once again by my favorite poem by Max Ehrman, “Desiderata.” Three wise individuals have given me counsel on separate occasions about the most recent tragedy a few blog posts ago. The gist of what I received from these persons can be described by some lines from “Desiderata “ as well (link to a copy of the poem)... ”Speak your truth quietly and clearly... Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble... Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is... Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings...” I was advised to be vigilant, focus my attention on blessings and self-development, and that there are due processes in place.

Placid

Image Source

Among my favorite pieces of poetry, Desiderata by Max Ehrmann, is the most meaningful for me. I consider it a sort of concise instructional manual on how to live.  Interestingly, I first began to fully appreciate it when I spent a summer at my Aunt's house in L.A. before I began high school because it was posted in her bathroom. Yes, bathroom...so that when you sit on the toilet, it's right in front of you. I kid you not. While I have linked Desiderata above, I would like to share my favorite sections:

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence...

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story...

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans...

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time...

...everywhere life is full of heroism...

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass...

Take kindly the counsel of the years...

...do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness...

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here...

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be...

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world..."

I am grateful to be here.

a post of relief, updated

 

Photo by Polina Kovaleva from Pexels

Without going into TMI (that's Too Much Information, as the kids these days say), I'm feeling relieved. People close to me are aware of my hypochondriac tendencies (an exaggeration, hah) and the advent of the interwebs and smart phones exacerbated that. Suffice to say that we are in the ballpark of 40% real and 60% speculation when it comes to overall health. By health, I'm referring to the World Health Organization's definition of “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” 

I am certainly not an insufferable, grumpy, the-end-is-nigh creature nor empathy gone overboard. However, when too much external stimuli is coupled by stress that has built up from pinpricks to full blown sledgehammers--you know what I mean. The distinction between all of us people is how we deal with those kinds of situations. I was recently informed that although I'm proactive (that increased my ego a bit), I tend to use avoidance as a coping approach (dart arrow hits the bullseye). 

As I write this with renewed motivation and before I start wrapping some Christmas presents (yes, that early...avoid the rush at all costs), I'd like to quote a passage from Daily Meditation (regnumchristi.org) about today's Gospel about The End. 

"Fear stalks us daily. The world in which we live can undermine our trust in God. It is easy to become attached to things of this world, even though they give us only a fleeting pleasure or a temporary security before they pass away, disappear, or vanish. Since our heart is made for God, for the infinite, when we become attached to something not of God, the result is fear. This is a fear of the future and a fear of the unknown. But with God, we know the ending, and we know what awaits us. Listen to those words: “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” All that we see and enjoy around us will pass away, but not Christ’s promises, namely the promises of eternal life—of paradise. Be not afraid to hope in God."

On the topic of religion, specifically in terms of the open declaration of one's Catholicism, if people choose to gauge the amount of respect that they will give someone based on what they believe in, how they look, what they do for a living, their material possessions, or their level of education, the onus is on the superficial judge and their bias-filled criteria. When I say I'm Roman Catholic and my person is immediately placed inside a box of stereotypes--well, that's certainly none of my business, isn't it? No need for me to spend some spare adenosine triphosphate in order to convince them to like me. And no, nobody judged me recently for being a Catholic---just a hypothetical scenario in which you can replace the subject of being Catholic as something else that is part of your identity. When applicable. *curtsy* 

/* Update */

I was on break and I thought of reading "Desiderata" again and there it is: "Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself." To Max Ehrmann, many thanks. Kind regards.

nourish yourself against dark imaginings

 Overwhelmed...I thought to share the section of the poem Desiderata that provides some comfort:

"Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here."

Many times I'm tired, hungry, and/or thirsty on top of whatever it is that I need to do or am going through. I think my cheeseburger helped. Cheers.

aiming for magnanimity

Being an academician can sometimes make me think highly of myself. Hugh Jackman once said that the cure for all types of insecurity is education. However, too much of it can make a person incredibly arrogant and stubborn. And all the more insecure...and easily suspicious of colleagues...and plain self-centered. A passage from Desiderata says, if you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. We can never be the best among the rest....the creamiest of the crop...it's just a stupid goal. To keep my feet on the ground and my head in its normal size, I constantly read the following excerpt from The Inner Life by Thomas a Kempis:

Everyone naturally desires knowledge, but of what use is knowledge itself without the fear of God?...Did I possess all knowledge in the world, but had no love, how would this help me before God, who will judge me by my deeds?... Restrain an inordinate desire for knowledge, in which is found much anxiety and deception. Learned men always wish to appear so, and desire recognition of their wisdom. But there are many matters, knowledge of which brings little or no advantage to the soul...
The more complete and excellent your knowledge, the more severe will be God's judgement on you, unless your life be the more holy. Therefore, do not be conceited of any skill or knowledge you may possess, but respect the knowledge that is entrusted to you. If it seems to you that you know a great deal and have wide
experience in many fields, yet remember that there are many matters of which you
are ignorant. So do not be conceited, but confess your ignorance. Why do you wish to esteem yourself above others, when there are many who are wiser and more perfect in the Law of God? If you desire to know or learn anything to your advantage, then take delight in being unknown and unregarded.
A true understanding and humble estimate of oneself is the highest and most valuable of all lessons. To take no account of oneself, but always to think well and highly of others is the highest wisdom and perfection.

Humility is something we should all aspire to have. It's very very difficult to not think highly of oneself. My desire to be truly and utterly humble is almost unachievable...and may even seem like I am falsely modest and self-righteous. It's just that when you think about it, in the long run, when you've achieved everything you've hoped for at the expense of others, you may find yourself unhappy. Being on top is a very lonely place to be in...and I don't ever want to be in that position ever.

In my mind's eye

I would like to report that I've been listening to holiday music already, particularly instrumental playlists in the morning and also while driving. Many years ago, I had a case of CDs in the car including mixed CDs of songs that were "burned" from either a computer repository or purchased from shops that sold mixed CDs. I used to be able to listen to louder and faster paced music while driving, despite chaotic traffic conditions. Aging has compelled me to dedicate focused attention and awareness. I think I can see better when it's calmer inside the vehicle, which is why I've become accustomed to cozy instrumental music. I can say that my poor eyesight is compensated by full auditory attention. These are realizations that make me feel insecure. I heard someone speak about feeling small when thinking about others who are better than one's self. I think people who have great eyesight and don't need readers are really lucky...and people who are over five feet and three inches tall...and confident public speakers. But as Max Ehrman's "Desiderata" goes, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

Going back to instrumental music and calmer environments, I thought to spend my free daily ChatGPt allotment for image generation by projecting what was on my mind (where I'd like to be) this Friday evening. The first image was from my initial prompt and the second was after a follow-up prompt to enhance the image. Clearly, these are AI generated because on the second image, the turntable is away from the rest of the record player. Also, there are ambiguous knick knacks on both images upon closer inspection. What's clear and explicitly part of my prompts is a steaming mug of hot chocolate that I would like to virtually raise: here's to the weekend, cheers.

Both images were generated by AI